Breaking news: Woman accusing Justin Bieber drops her lawsuit.

Publication: TMZ.com

Date: 16 Nov. 2011

If you want maximum coverage for a gossip story, leak the news on a Monday like Kim Kardashian did with her divorce.  If you want minimum coverage, Wednesday morning news has to wait eight days and is often largely forgotten.  The young woman who claimed Justin Bieber was the father of her child has retracted her lawsuit after his lawyers threatened to counter-sue.

And this was leaked on a Wednesday.  My best guess is the young woman wants to slink away into relative obscurity.

Breaking news: Kim Kardashian files for divorce.

Publication: TMZ via the Huffington Post

Date: 31 Oct. 2011

To the surprise of almost no one, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from Kris Humphries, the guy she married 72 days ago,  citing irreconcilable differences.

As I have said before, these Orc-Hobbit mixed marriages almost never work out.

Breaking news: Russell Armstrong of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills commits suicide.

Publication: TMZ online

Date: 16 August 2011



TMZ reports that Russell Armstrong, estranged husband of Taylor Armstrong of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has hung himself. No note has been found.

Breaking news: Kim Kardashian wedding date set for August 20.

Publication: TMZ online

Date: 29 July 2011



TMZ publishes a picture of a wedding invitation for Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. The date is Saturday, August 20, three weeks from tomorrow. It says black tie.



We'll see soon enough if this is the real deal or not.

Love Bird Alert™:more on Scarlett Johansson dating Sean Penn

Publications: Star, Us Weekly
Date: 21 March 2011
(picture nicked from TMZ online)

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The supermarket rags and other gossip sources have been flogging the rumor of Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn dating for a while, and finally at least we have a picture of them together. Here are the headlines from this week's stories.

• Us Weekly: Scarlett and Sean: Sexy fling turns serious
• Star magazine: How Scarlett seduced Sean
  inside their Mexican tryst

Given this blog's pro-love policy, I should wish the happy couple all the best, but even though I admire Sean Penn's politics, something about the guy still creeps me out.

Demon Drugs Alert™:Miley and the Bong

Publication: Star
Date: 27 December 2010
(photo nicked from TMZ.com)

The headline in the Star reads "Best and Worst OMG moments of 2010", but their choices on the cover of such moments is limited, as in limited to one.

Miley and the Bong.

It sounds like some action comedy from the 1970's like Freebie and the Bean or BJ and the Bear, doesn't it? Though if we are looking to the future, it's much more likely we will sooner get to see Miley and the BJ than Miley and the Bear.

Just sayin'.

Breaking news:Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson to divorce

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 14 December 2010

Welcome to gossip hell, Scarlett Johansson! Her two year marriage to Ryan Reynolds, recently picked as People's sexiest man of 2010, is now over.

These two are much more popular in the online gossip world, simply because the audience skews younger and Scarlett shows up on the red carpet in "Day-um she's hott!" clothes frequently. Now that they are both on the market again, I expect they will get the same treatment in 2011 that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal did in 2010.

Because the news broke mid-day on a Tuesday, it's not certain the story will be covered in the rags that are printed tomorrow and on the stands on early Thursday.

Breaking news:Courteney Cox and David Arquette have been separated for months

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 11 October 2010

TMZ reports that Courteney Cox and David Arquette have been officially separated for several months, and this has only recently been confirmed because Arquette has been seen out and about with a young woman he has been intimate with.

I'm only surprised it lasted as long as it did.

She Fought The Law Alert™:Lindsay Lohan back to jail

Publication: tmz.com
Date: 24 September 2010

The supermarket rags don't care that much, but if Lindsay Lohan didn't exist, online gossip site would have to invent her. She admits she did drugs she wasn't supposed to and the judge threw her narrow ass in county quicker than you can say, "C'mon, just one line of blow. Who's gonna know?"

Her lawyer has appealed the denial of bail, but if that doesn't work, she will be enjoying the largesse of the county until Oct. 22, the date of her next hearing.

Breaking news:Lindsay Lohan admits to failing drug test

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 18 September 2010

As I have written before, the supermarket gossip rags only publish once a week, while celebrities are doing stupid stuff 24/7. Being scooped by the Internet is inevitable.

Lindsay Lohan, out on probation from a drug conviction, admits she failed a drug test. You know if you follow her on Twitter.

If you follow her on Twitter, please don't admit to it in the comments. I like to think well of my invisible reading public. Just tell me you heard it online and we'll leave it at that.

On the Rocks update:Tiger and Elin officially divorced

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 23 August 2010

Okay, so she put a nine iron through the window of his SUV last Thanksgiving. That really didn't mean it was over, did it?

Well, Labor Day is around the corner, and according to official documents, it's over. Now I get to go back and put FAIL by all the stories that had them back together and WIN by all the stories that said they really were through.

Brave Last Days Alert:Zsa Zsa Gabor

Publication: Globe
Date: 30 August 2010

Two weeks ago, the Globe had a headline claiming foul play was involved in Zsa Zsa Gabor's recent serious turn in her health. This week, they give her a Sad Last Days headline. In legitimate news sources, stories have been reported of complications after her recent operations and that she received the sacrament known commonly as last rites and she left the hospital to go home instead of risking more operations. Today's news from TMZ online is that her husband has collapsed and both are now bedridden.

The only other person marked for death by one of the Three Wicked Step Sisters this year that got this level of confirmation of the seriousness of the situation in other more reputable news services was Dennis Hopper, who let the world know how sick he was in late 2009 and died in May 2010.

Breaking news (sort of):Heidi Montag files for divorce in Santa Monica

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 30 July 2010

My thanks to blog buddy Karen Zipdrive for pointing out this story from last Friday. The noise around the relationship of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt is so thick it's hard to tell if there is any signal at all, but filing of divorce papers in court is as close to a real thing as we will get from this pair of phonies. Heidi has filed for divorce. I thought it was all just Planted Crap from these people just to stay in the spotlight, but I admit I was wrong on that score and give the "confirmed" label to both the Star and Weekly Life & Style who said the relationship was over back in June.

Confirmed On the Rocks Alert:Tiger and Elin's divorce is real, but not as expensive as reported

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 1 July 2010

A report from a British tabloid was widely circulated this week. It said that the divorce of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren was finalized and she would be getting $750 million. Because of the source, I was not willing to publish the news on this blog. (Unlike MSNBC and Huffington Post, I have standards.) But the news has been confirmed on TMZ online, the gossip source I trust the most. More than that, the source who spoke to TMZ said the divorce becomes final tomorrow and that the $750 million number is pure hooey. Forbes estimated Tiger's worth last year at $600 million, so it's a little tough for him to get his hands on that much cash, especially given the high cost of skanky hos these days.

Every tabloid who said they were getting divorced gets an orange in their stocking, and the ones who said they'd work it out get a lump of coal.

Leaving the Love Boat™:Camille Grammer divorcing husband Kelsey

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 1 July 2010

Yet another celebrity couple divorces without a peep about their troubles in The Only Ten Magazines That Matter. Camille Grammer, age 41, a former Club MTV and Playboy model who will be on the next session of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, is filing for divorce from her conservative windbag husband Kelsey Grammer, age 55.

To be fair and balanced, Kelsey Grammer has done some very funny stuff. I love Sideshow Bob and so do all right thinking Americans. His work with Bebe Neuwirth on Cheers is A-Numba One Tip-Top. But when I've listened to him speak, he thinks his funny stuff is funny because of him and gives short shrift to the writers. He also whines about the bitter fate of being conservative in Hollywood, but he keeps getting work long past his deserved shelf life. Given these dreadful personality defects, I can honestly wish him every unhappiness.

You So Crazy Alert™:Racist phone call from Mel Gibson "leaked".

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 1 July 2010

Mel Gibson, conceited piece of crap loser lionized for his torture porn classic Passion of the Christ, didn't just have a bad night when he was arrested a few years back. He's a racist asshole and incredibly mean drunk.

A phone machine message in which Mr. Gibson let go a tirade filled with obscenities and racial slurs at his estranged girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva has become public. Ms. Grigorieva says she did not leak it, but it's out there now.

Don't you love it when lawyers become involved? This shitheel says disgusting crap on tape with full knowledge he is being taped, but if she released it to the public, she's the party to blame.

To be fair and balanced, liberal icon Alec Baldwin had a very disgusting rant on a message machine a few years back. Also being completely impartial, Baldwin is very funny and Mel isn't.

Consider this. Mel Gibson was married to his wife Robyn for 29 years until they divorced last year. She must be a first-class punching bag. He had to put her through this kind of shit as well. Nobody turns this mean this fast.

Hosptialization alert:Dean McDermott falls off his motorcycle... again!

Publication: TMZ.com
Date: 1 July 2010

While this week's tabloid headlines are a little re-hashy, the website TMZ es en fuego tonight! Four stories that are considerably better than the stuff in the magazines this week.

Dean McDermott, creepy husband of Tori Spelling that nobody seems to like, was in an off road motorcycle accident. He has broken ribs which punctured and collapsed his lung, which is obviously no damn fun at all, but doctors expect him to make a complete recovery.

This is his second motorcycle accident this year. Dean, take a hint.

Breaking news:Sandra Bullock Jesse James divorce has been finalized

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 28 June 2010

The website TMZ reports that the divorce papers ending the marriage of Sandra Bullock and Jesse James have been signed in Texas. The documents are sealed, which seems strange to me, but I'm not a lawyer. While the details could easily be kept private, it seems that if either party wants get re-married, the divorce would have to be a matter of public record.

Now comes the nitpicky work of going back and checking all the stories that said it was over or said they would reconcile.

The position of this blog on this matter is simple.

Good for her. He can rot.

Bells Done Rung™:Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart get hitched.

Publication: TMZ.com
Date: June 16 2010

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are married. People reported they were engaged last year and predicted a Valentine's Day wedding, but Ms. Flockhart is a June bride instead.

Ms. Flockhart is 45 and this is her first trip down the aisle. Mr. Ford is 67 and this is his third marriage. They started dating in 2002. Doing a little math, Mr. Ford did pass the sophisticated French rule of one half his age plus seven years when they met, but just barely. This rule was not followed by the disgusting drug addict Rush Limbaugh during his fourth attempt at wedded bliss.

While there is no proof that the couple announced their marriage at exactly the right time to make the supermarket rags a week late and multiple dollars short, it was exactly the right time. Make of that what you will.

He Fought The Law Alert™:Charlie Sheen going to jail

Publication: TMZ online
Date: 1 June 2010

Back in January, Charlie Sheen was a tabloid star only surpassed by Tiger Woods and BrAngelina, but his star faded. Now, TMZ online scoops the tabloids once again with the story that Sheen will do jail time for his assault on his wife Brooke Mueller.