Sandra's mid-life makeover.

Publication: Star

Date: 12 Dec. 2011

Over the past two years, the biggest stars in the supermarket rags have been Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  In that group, only Angelina (36) is less than 40 years old.  They are all good actors, but part of their job is to look good, and that gets harder in our youth obsessed culture as we get older. Sandra Bullock is now 47, so it isn't unfair of Star to use the phrase "mid-life" on their headline.  Whether this makeover includes plastic surgery or not is not mentioned on cover.

Problems with Plastic alert: Sandra's new face.

Publication: OK!

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

 

There is speculation from long distance pictures that Sandra Bullock has had some work done on her lips. This picture is from RadarOnline and the story in the supermarket rags is from OK!

Love Bird Alert™: Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves

Publications: OK!, Star

Date: 14 Nov. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! One of the first rules of the gossip rags is that if two people are willing to have their picture taken together, things of a fluid exchange nature must be taking place behind closed doors.  

 

Welcome to gossip hell, Keanu Reeves!  He had a dinner date with his Speed co-star Sandra Bullock, so they must be doing the nasty.  Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Sandra moves on: Happy with Keanu
• Star: Sandra hooks up with Keanu

I don't buy it for a minute.

Love Bird Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. And, oh yeah, Sandra Bullock and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Publications: People, In Touch, Star, OK!
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively were co-stars in Green Lantern this year, which explains this picture of them together at ComicCon, where Ryan stares into the camera manfully instead of gazing at the obvious focal point for every other guy in the room. Now they are supposed to be a couple, which allegedly brings heartbreak to Sandra Bullock, who has been romantically linked to Reynolds in several stories that both of them have denied. Blake's brief romance with Leonardo DiCaprio is also mentioned. Here are the headlines.

• People: Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively: New Romance?
• OK!: Blake steals Sandra's man!
  she's 23 years younger than Sandra!
  Right after dumping Leo, Blake hooks up with Ryan.
  Inside their steamy Boston weekend!
• Star: Exclusive details
  Sandra dumped by Ryan
• In Touch: Blake: How she stole Ryan

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Another story about Hollywood women who weigh too little.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Yet another grab bag story about women in show business obsessing about their weight and getting too skinny in the process. Here are the headlines.

• Sandra's heartbroken again - over Ryan Reynolds' new romance.
  
• Lonely and insecure, she drops to her lowest weight ever
  
• (skin and bones)
  

• Demi: Starving herself after cheating scandal

• Kendra: What I did to get thin

• Julie Bowen: Pressure to look perfect

And this is the opportunity to write: Welcome to gossip hell, Julie Bowen!

Love Bird Alert™: Ryan Reynolds and Olivia Wilde

Publications: Us Weekly, In Touch
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! When Hollywood couples break up, the gossip rags tend to be more interested in how the woman is faring romantically than how the guy is doing. There are some exceptions to this and the most notable if 2011 is Ryan Reynolds, who divorced Scarlett Johannson late last year. He has been on the covers of the supermarket rags more often than she has. The latest alleged love for Reynolds is Olivia Wilde, his co-star from The Change-Up. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: Ryan Moves on from Sandra - with Olivia Wilde!
• In Touch: Poor Sandra... Ryan & Olivia: It's On!
  

Notice how it's supposed to be Sandra Bullock's heart he is breaking with his new relationship. Scarlett is completely out of the picture, at least in the version on the covers this week.

Bells Done Rung Alert™: The secret wedding of Sandra and Ryan

Publication: Star
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! It's hard to tell what is true in the gossip rags unless you have heard it verified by the people involved or in more reputable sources, but you do have to admire the attention to detail in some of this phony baloney. Case in point, Star uses up most of the front cover to say that Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds secretly married recently. Here are the headlines.

• Sandra & Ryan's secret Texas Wedding
• Shock of the year
• Backyard ceremony
• The best man: Louis!
• Only 25 guests

I love the idea that Louis was best man. I hope he didn't get carried away when he made the toast to the happy couple.

Annoying label bookkeeping for Sandra and Ryan stories for 19 Sept.

A link to the stories listed above, with an obligatory picture of Scarlett Johansson.

Love Bird Alert™: More on Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.

Publications: OK!, Star

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Regardless of denials, the supermarket rags are determined to get Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock together. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Ryan caught at Sandra's house
• Star: Ryan & Sandra adopting together!
  
  A sister for Louis

Color me unconvinced.

Bells are Ringing Alert™ and Love Bird Alert: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds yet again.

Publications: OK!, Star

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Two magazines once again want to make more of the Sandra Bullock-Ryan Reynolds friendship, though the story has been denied in the past. Here are the headlines.

• Star: Sandra & Ryan getting married
  
  Exclusive photos & details of their secret getaway
  
  Ryan's acting like a dad.
  
  Inside their hush-hush romance
• OK!: Sandra & Ryan: Together again
  
  new pics inside
  
  

The picture on the cover of Star that looks paternal is Sandra and Ryan hiking with little Louis being carried by him instead of her.

Love Bird Alert™: Plenty of stories about Sandra Bullock.All including Ryan Reynolds.

Publications: People, In Touch, Star, Us Weekly

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Sandra Bullock is back with a vengeance, four cover stories about her in a single week. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Ryan & Sandra's second chance
• Us Weekly: Sandra & Ryan: Why they can't let go
• Star: Sandra & Ryan: Love is in the air
• People: How Sandra Got Her Groove Back!
  
  Her New Life
  
  The Joy of Louis
  
  Her happy single life
  
  The truth about Ryan Reynolds

My read on this is that Sandy got wind of stories in the making and decided to talk to People, the magazine she trusted with adorable little Louis' debut, to nip the rumors in the bud.

Love Bird Alert™: Jesse wants Sandy back!

Publication: OK!
Date: 15 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Online gossip sources announced that Jesse James and Kat Von D have broken up, and she appears to be the one who cheated this time. OK!, the nicest of the supermarket rags if not the most reliable, says Jesse wants Sandra Bullock back.

It may be true. It's possible that Jesse realizes he never got anywhere near anybody else as classy as Sandy, but if she actually takes him back, she will be met with the disapproval of all right thinking people everywhere.

So I'm betting against it.

Rich people are rich: Inside Sandra's $23 million mansion.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 13 June 2011

Sandra Bullock, like BrAngelina or Jennifer Aniston, doesn't actually have to do anything newsworthy or ever gossip-worthy to get on the cover of a magazine. This week, Weekly Life & Style gives us a tour of her very expensive house.

I imagine it's nice.

Bundle of Joy Alert?: Sandra adopting again.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 30 May 2011

Star is going with the story that Sandra Bullock is adopting again and will have a second child in the house by the end of summer. Bullock's reps deny it. The best Star can do is say Sandy was really good at keeping it secret last time, but I don't recall her having to deny a story in the press.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Jesse's latest twisted insult.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 23 May 2011

I had some hope that Jesse James would slink out of the Top Ten celebrities in the tabloids, but he keeps getting the occasional mention. Now it's Us Weekly that is reporting on some new stupid way he's decided to insult the only woman he's ever been with that might keep his kids from being complete douche bags when they grow up.

This is the first time I've given Jesse and Sandy a Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™, though she has fussed and feuded with his ex. It's certainly not On The Rocks anymore.

Love Bird Alert™: Sandra's new man.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 23 May 2011

Since she is not wearing a wedding ring, Sandra Bullock's love life is still an important topic to the gossip rags. Weekly Life & Style says she has a new fella on the cover of this week's mag, but doesn't name him or provide a picture.

This usually means he isn't nearly as famous as she is.

On the rocks alert: Sandra betrayed again.

Publication: Star
Date: 9 May 2011

Once again, Jesse James is back on the cover of a supermarket rag and he blames Sandra Bullock for the fact he can't keep his penis in his pants. Pretty much the exact same story won Meanest Story of the Week way back in August of last year.

I didn't even think about nominating it for Meanest Story this week because it is such old news. Jesse is fading from the spotlight and the faster that happens, the better.

What's wrong with Sandra Bullock's face?

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 11 April 2011

Sandra Bullock makes an appearance on the cover of the National Enquirer, so you can bet it isn't good news. A telephoto shot of her recently showed this lump on her jaw below her ear. It could be from clenching muscles or it could be the result of a dental procedure. I'm guessing it isn't permanent.

On the rocks alert: Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper officially split.

Publications: People, Star, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 4 April 2011

Last week, Star scooped the rest of the supermarket rags by telling us Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger were through. This week, it's on four covers, including the usually reliable People. Here are the different headlines.

• People: Renee and Bradley: Inside their split
• In Touch: Bradley and Renee: why he dumped her
• Us Weekly: What drove Renee and Bradley Apart
• Star: Renee & Bradley behind the break-up
  Why Renee ran to Sandra (Bullock)

Star gives more cover details than the others, but one of their details contradicts a plot line from last week. Allegedly, Bradley was tomcatting around according to Star, and one of his alleged trysts was Sandra Bullock. Now, it sounds like she was being a friend and go-between instead of a homewrecker.

On the rocks alert: Renee Betrayed by Bradley

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 28 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There is a lot of fallout from the confirmed break-up of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel this week, and this story is the detritus farthest from the scene of the crime. Star has pictures of Bradley Cooper with two different actresses out in public, which obviously means they are shagging like wild weasels either just prior to or just after the public photos are snapped. Cooper is seen with Jessica Biel in a picture that looks real dated February 26 with the caption "caught cuddling", though it just looks like a Hollywood "hello" hug. There is also a picture that could be photoshopped with Sandra Bullock dated March 5 captioned "sneaking out".

I am not giving Mr. Cooper the man slut label because the evidence is just too skimpy.

UPDATE: Since the break-up of Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger is all over the place on the supermarket rag covers the week after this story, this gets a belated Scoop of the Week label.