Publication: OK!
Date: 12 Dec. 2011
OK! give us a nice story from reality TV show The Biggest Loser. Here are the headlines.
- Jessica and Ramon
- How we lost 240 pounds!
- And fell in love
That's a nice story.
Showing posts with label Love Bird Alert™. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love Bird Alert™. Show all posts
Damn You Skinny Alert™ and Love Bird Alert™: Jessica and Ramon lose weight and fall in love.
Love Bird Alert™: Bachelor's Emily dating Vienna's ex
Publication: In Touch
Date: 12 Dec. 2011
In Touch says Bachelorette Emily is dating the former beau of Bachelorette Vienna.
Even though I have been writing this blog for about two years now, I remember almost no details about all the Bachelor people. But I think I recall that if they are going to have a You So Crazy competition, put a few bucks on Vienna.
Love bird alert™: J. Lo's new man meets her kids.
Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 12 Dec. 2011
For the record, the guy now squiring Jennifer Lopez is named Casper Smart.
Going on the record, I think the only thing smart about him is his last name.
I mention his name because eventually some gossip rag will. Right now, he's just "J. Lo's new boyfriend", so he gets no label yet.
Who know? Maybe they will become J-Casp or LoSmart or some other cute name.
Personally, I'm not holding my breath. I think he's romantic roadkill.
Going on the record, I think the only thing smart about him is his last name.
I mention his name because eventually some gossip rag will. Right now, he's just "J. Lo's new boyfriend", so he gets no label yet.
Who know? Maybe they will become J-Casp or LoSmart or some other cute name.
Personally, I'm not holding my breath. I think he's romantic roadkill.
Love Bird Alert: Cameron and Diddy - a shocking new couple
Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 28 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!
Us Weekly calls Cameron Diaz and Diddy (or P. Diddy or Puff Daddy or Sean Combs or whatever name he is using now) a "shocking new couple".
I personally am not shocked. They are both rich, famous and single, he's 42 and she's 39 so there isn't a massive age difference or any thought of them being "too young". They both seem to be in it for a good time.
Is interracial dating shocking in 2011?
Honey, please.
Love Bird Alert™: Rob wants to marry Kristen
Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 28 Nov. 2011
Now that the latest installment of Twilight is out, the level of planted crap has to rise.
It's like a law of physics or something.
In any case, Rob want to marry Kristen, according to this headline. Under my cynical hermit crab shell there is still a little bit of romantic that hopes this is true. They look so cute in this picture.
Love bird alert™: J. Lo dating a 24-year-old.
Publications: People, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 28 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays. Two stories about Jennifer Lopez, singer, actress, TV personality and high maintenance beee-yotch extraordinaire, has a new boy toy who does not meet the Sophisticated French Rule. She is now 42, so half her age plus seven is 28 and she is dating a 24-year-old.
Typical diva nonsense. Here are the headlines.
- People: J. Lo's new man: He's 24
- Weekly Life & Style: 42-year-old J. Lo dating a 24-year-old!
Love bird alert: Mel Gibson's shocking public romp!
Publication: Globe
Date: 21 Nov. 2011
I would rather write as little as possible about Mel Gibson, so here are the headlines.
- Who's the sexy gal?
- 5 more photos inside
Love Bird alert and On the Rocks alert: Bisexual co-star too close to Johnny?
Publication: In Touch
Date: 21 Nov. 2011
Twenty five years ago, did you watch 21 Jump Street and think, "In the next century, that Johnny Depp kid is going to be a superstar"?
No, me neither. Never watched 21 Jump Street.
In any case, Johnny Depp is often getting romantically linked to co-stars, which must be some annoyance to his longtime girlfriend Vanessa Paradis. This week, he is on the cover with a smokin' hot blonde only identified as "bisexual co-star" who is allegedly getting too close.
Welcome to anonymous gossip hell, Amber Heard! The actress who was born while 21 Jump Street was still on the air has a lot of credits on TV and film, and I doubt the cancellation of The Playboy Club is going to slow down the job offers.
Woody Allen once joked that being a bisexual would double your chances of getting a date for Saturday night. As a mathematician, I have to say even if Ms. Heard decided to play for just one team, her odds of companionship on any given Saturday are way over 50%, which means the probability can't be doubled.
Sorry about the nerdiness getting in the way of the hotness. That's just how I roll.
Love bird alert™: Cameron Diaz and P. Diddy dating
Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
According to Weekly Life & Style, Cameron Diaz and P. Diddy are now a couple. Unlike many alleged couples when first reported, I was able to go online and find a picture of them together in public, so that must count for something.
Love Bird Alert™: Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves
Publications: OK!, Star
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! One of the first rules of the gossip rags is that if two people are willing to have their picture taken together, things of a fluid exchange nature must be taking place behind closed doors.
Welcome to gossip hell, Keanu Reeves! He had a dinner date with his Speed co-star Sandra Bullock, so they must be doing the nasty. Here are the headlines.
- OK!: Sandra moves on: Happy with Keanu
- Star: Sandra hooks up with Keanu
Love bird alert™: Patrick Duffy's steamy kiss with sexy blonde.
Publication: Globe
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
By my completely subjective standards, Patrick Duffy does not count as Hey Old Timer Gossip because he wasn't famous when I graduated high school, but he obviously is best known by an older demographic. The Globe says he shared a kiss with a steamy blonde, though not the one in this picture.
Love Bird Alert™: When J. Lo & Bradley's affair really started.
Publication: OK!
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
As the story stands right now, Jennifer Lopez is the jilted party, what with her poodle of a husband Marc Anthony sniffing around Jada Pinkett Smith and messing the whole thing up. But this week, OK! says they know when J. Lo and her new beau Bradley Cooper really started seeing each other, which could completely change the whole "who jilted whom?" balance.
As usual, I didn't open the magazine to read it, so it could still be Marc got tired of Jennifer's well-formed-but-not-worth-the-grief hinder.
Love Bird Alert™: J. Lo and Bradley Cooper.
(photo credit: Peter Kramer/AP)Publications: People, OK!, Us Weekly
Date: 31 Oct. 2011
Five weeks ago, there was a flurry of five stories about Jennifer Lopez dating Bradley Cooper. This week, a second smaller flurry of three stories talks about the new couple. Their relationship has also reached an important gossip milestone, since there are now actual pictures of them together in public easily available on the Internet. Here are the headlines.
- People: J. Lo & Bradley: It's on!
- OK!: J. Lo & Bradley Caught!
She's not even divorced yet! - Us Weekly: Jen's secret romance
After Bradley pursues her for weeks with late-night calls and intimate dinners, J. Lo spends the night. Why she took a chance on him
- Sun screen.
- RUN! No, the other direction.
Love Bird Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. And, oh yeah, Sandra Bullock and Leonardo DiCaprio.
Publications: People, In Touch, Star, OK!Date: 24 Oct. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively were co-stars in Green Lantern this year, which explains this picture of them together at ComicCon, where Ryan stares into the camera manfully instead of gazing at the obvious focal point for every other guy in the room. Now they are supposed to be a couple, which allegedly brings heartbreak to Sandra Bullock, who has been romantically linked to Reynolds in several stories that both of them have denied. Blake's brief romance with Leonardo DiCaprio is also mentioned. Here are the headlines.
- People: Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively: New Romance?
- OK!: Blake steals Sandra's man!
she's 23 years younger than Sandra!
Right after dumping Leo, Blake hooks up with Ryan.
Inside their steamy Boston weekend! - Star: Exclusive details
Sandra dumped by Ryan - In Touch: Blake: How she stole Ryan
Love Bird Alert™: Lauren Conrad dating Dancing With The Stars' Derek Hough.
Publication: Us WeeklyDate: 17 Oct. 2011
Lauren Conrad makes it onto two covers this week, which is pretty good work for someone from a reality TV show that's been off the air for more than a year. Us Weekly says she's dating Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars. Hough denies it.
Love Bird Alert™: J. Lo's new man is...
Publication: OK!Date: 10 Oct. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! OK! has a teaser headline, promising an exclusive story on who Jennifer Lopez's new fella is.
I never play the guessing game stuff, but I will finish the sentence.
J. Lo's new man is... a damn fool if he doesn't get as far away from this drama queen as he can and double quick, too!
Love Bird Alert™: Ryan Reynolds and Olivia Wilde
Publications: Us Weekly, In TouchDate: 3 Oct. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! When Hollywood couples break up, the gossip rags tend to be more interested in how the woman is faring romantically than how the guy is doing. There are some exceptions to this and the most notable if 2011 is Ryan Reynolds, who divorced Scarlett Johannson late last year. He has been on the covers of the supermarket rags more often than she has. The latest alleged love for Reynolds is Olivia Wilde, his co-star from The Change-Up. Here are the headlines.
- Us Weekly: Ryan Moves on from Sandra - with Olivia Wilde!
- In Touch: Poor Sandra... Ryan & Olivia: It's On!
Notice how it's supposed to be Sandra Bullock's heart he is breaking with his new relationship. Scarlett is completely out of the picture, at least in the version on the covers this week.
Love Bird Alert™: Why Holly chose Blake on Bachelor Pad.
Publication: Weekly Life & StyleDate: 26 Sept. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last trash of the week... right now!
There's a new spin-off of the Bachelor called Bachelor Pad. I know nothing about it except that it's a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls who I assume had been on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Two of them by the names of Holly and Blake decided to get together. I do not know anything about them and have little interest in learning more.
Going online, I see that the show's finale is either already happened or happening soon. For my taste, it can't be soon enough.
(Once I had a Secret) Love Bird Alert: Paul McCartney and Doris Day
Publication: GlobeDate: 26 Sept. 2011
The Globe runs with a cover story that Paul McCartney and Doris Day had a love affair some 46 years ago. You can read the conversation Sir Paul had with Miss Day online from earlier this month that says he was a fan back in the day, an interview published by the reputable Telegraph from the U.K. No mention of fluid transfer is made.
The good news in this dishonest headline is that at least they aren't trying to bury Miss Day, which is the usual headline in the supermarket rags.
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