Love Bird Alert: Cameron and Diddy - a shocking new couple

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

 

Fresh trash tomorrow!  Last trash of the week... right now!

 

 Us Weekly calls Cameron Diaz and Diddy (or P. Diddy or Puff Daddy or Sean Combs or whatever name he is using now) a "shocking new couple".

I personally am not shocked.  They are both rich, famous and single, he's 42 and she's 39 so there isn't a massive age difference or any thought of them being "too young". They both seem to be in it for a good time.

Is interracial dating shocking in 2011?

 

Honey, please.

Love bird alert™: Cameron Diaz and P. Diddy dating

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 14 Nov. 2011

 

According to Weekly Life & Style, Cameron Diaz and P. Diddy are now a couple.  Unlike many alleged couples when first reported, I was able to go online and find a picture of them together in public, so that must count for something.

 

 

Hussy alert: Cameron battles Jessica for Justin

Publication: Star
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Star magazine says the newly single Cameron Diaz is ready to battle for the affections of her former beau Justin Timberlake with his current squeeze Jessica Biel. There was a story about these three in a love triangle back in April 2010, with Justin the man slut as the instigator.

On the rocks alert: Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Us tells us that the romance of Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz is no more. Weekly Life & Style had the same story last June. Checking online, they got back together after the last split, but now have decided to go their separate ways again.

Cameron Diaz - Elle Magazine Photoshoot

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Damn You Skinny Alert™: Hot bikini bodies for August 2011.

Publication: Star

Date: 22 August 2011



Star has a swimsuit headline that is completely positive, featuring two women looking good and no snide comments about possible surgical enhancement.



The first is Kim Kardashian. They didn't use this particular picture, but I for one never get tired of it.

The next is Cameron Diaz, who is usually chided for over exercising and too strict a diet.



Looks mighty fine here, though I don't know how old this picture is.

Damn You Skinny Alerts™: Stars' body struggles.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 22 August 2011

Weekly Life & Style had one of those grab bag stories of good looking female celebrities getting crazy about staying skinny. The person who got the most attention was Kate Middleton, but I split that into a separate story. The original sub-story had a list of four names, but I took the headline about JWoww from Jersey Shore and included that in another story from another mag about her. Here are the other three headlines.

Katie Holmes is starving for fashion.

Angelina Jolie has no time for food.



Cameron Diaz spends hours at the gym and does not eat carbs.

Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™:Best and worst winter beach bodies for early July 2011.

Publication: Star

Date: 11 July 2011



Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!



Star has yet another grab bag of women in swimsuits on the cover, some looking good, some not so good. Ignoring the "guess who?" pictures, here's the list.



They found a flattering picture of Kim Kardashian in a bikini. This is not that difficult.



They welcomed Christina Hendricks to gossip hell with a swimsuit picture that makes the Mad Men star look not only top heavy (d'uh!) but heavy as well.



Others in swimsuits include Ke$ha, Coco and Cameron Diaz.



They speculate on enboobenings on ex-Spice Girl Geri Haliwell and Vienna Girardi from The Bachelor.

On the rocks alert: Cameron Diaz and A-Rod: It's over!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 13 June 2011

The Only Ten Magazine That Matter do not care about the scandals involving athletes, with the exception of Tiger Woods starting in late 2009. Athletes are only of interest if they are dating or married to famous women like actresses or pop stars or Kardashians.

Alex Rodriguez has decided he no long wants to be an interesting person, as he has dumped Cameron Diaz. He will now return to being the very good ballplayer who is ridiculously overpaid for his services, even by the ridiculous standards of modern American sport.

Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™: Best and worst celebrity diets, March 2011

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 28 March 2011

I'm being a little dishonest using this picture to illustrate the Flagship's most recent foray into good and bad celebrity bodies. This picture is supposed to represent an attractive young woman on a diet that works. The Enquirer is also dishonest in their headline, because there is no "best" on the list this week. Everyone is either too fat, scary skinny of over-exercises.

Too fat: Gabourney Sibide (350 lbs.), Jessica Simpson (packs on 25 pounds)
Too skinny: Tara Reid (bag of bones), Gwyneth Paltrow (about 100 lbs.)
Arms too well defined: Cameron Diaz, Sarah Jessica Parker

This is in keeping with the general concept that the National Enquirer doesn't like anybody.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Cameron Diaz addicted to exercise.

(photo nicked from Daily Mail online copyright Boaz/Flynetpictures.com)
Publication: In Touch
Date: 7 March 2010

Being a celebrity, most particularly a female celebrity of a certain age, is to be constantly judged on your looks. Cameron Diaz is now 38 and has kept herself in remarkably good shape, but In Touch thinks she has gone too far.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™:A-Rod and Cameron getting married?

Publication: Star
Date: 13 December 2010

As usual, sports stars aren't of much interest to The Only Ten Magazines That Matter unless they are romantically involved with someone as famous as they are. The two major exceptions were Tiger Woods earlier this year and, nearly inexplicably, Tom Brady and his alleged hair transplant.

The Star returns to form when dealing with athletes to tell us Alex Rodriguez, who has been a bit of a man slut since divorcing his first wife, is now considering making Cameron Diaz his future ex-wife. This couple's only other appearance this year on the cover of a supermarket rag was a story about a feud between Diaz and Kate Hudson, who had also dated A-Rod but was dumped because her breasts were too small.

Damn You Skinny Alert™:Bikini body secrets

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 5 July 2010

More stories about how to look like famously attractive people while wearing very little clothing.

Beyoncé knows how to burn calories while she sleeps.

Actually, we all do. If you want to burn a lot of calories while you sleep, I recommend a short term illness like influenza.

Cameron Diaz beats ab flab. It helps if you have a lot of free time to exercise and you are serious about training. Being paid jillions of dollars to look good increases the seriousness of most people.

Kristin Cavallari knows a new way to lose ten pounds. Most of the young women who get featured in these pictures never gained ten pounds after they stopped growing at the age of sixteen or so.

There was also a picture of some woman from one of the Housewives show, but that is a line I will not cross.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 25 May 2010

There have been a lot of "feuds" recently between people who barely know each other, but this one has a closer connection, and that connection is man slut Alex Rodriguez's penis.

A-Rod was dating Kate Hudson, but her breasts weren't big enough. He then dated Cameron Diaz, whose breast apparently ARE big enough.

Ms. Hudson has since had plastic surgery. She and Ms. Diaz are not on each others' Christmas card list. No one can blame them.

Man Slut Alert:Justin Timberlake betrays Jessica Biel

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 26 Apr. 2010

Here's the last trash of the tabloid week, clearing the deck for fresh trash tomorrow.

According to Us Weekly, Justin Timberlake is splitting his valuable time between Jessica Biel and Cameron Diaz. Remember that just a month ago, he was linked to a stripper, so he definitely has some serious time management skillz.

The editors of this supermarket rag add the extra detail that he loves being fought over.

And here I just thought he liked to have sex with as many women as possible.

Love Bird Alert™: Cameron in bed with Justin

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 22 Mar. 2010

OMG! Didn't they break up like... forever ago? Are sparks flying again?

Thanks for asking, hypothetical question asker. The answers in order are yes and no.

They're in a movie together. They have a scene in bed.

Bait and switch much, Weekly Life & Style?