Hussy alert: Eva steals NBA star from his baby mama!

Publication: Star

Date: 5 Dec. 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow!  Last trash of the week... right now!

 

Eva Longoria's story had all the makings of a gossip mag bonanza.  Attractive actress is betrayed by her celebrity husband, in her case NBA star Tony Parker.  But instead of getting sympathy, now the Star has a "world exclusive" that Eva has stole an NBA star from his baby mama.

Names are not named, but I'm assuming the star is someone other than Parker.

So instead of being a younger Sandra Bullock on TV instead of in the movies, Eva is being cast as the oldest Kardashian sister, albeit with actual talent.

 

On the rocks alert: Kim stole my husband!

Publication: Star

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Over the past few months, stories about Kim have either focused on the marriage (almost all bad) or how she looks in a swimsuit (pretty damn foine, as the young people say). Now comes a story about her being a man stealer, and the man in question is not Kris Humphries.  Here are the headlines.

• Angry wife tells all
• New Kardashian scandal

Hussy alert: Cameron battles Jessica for Justin

Publication: Star
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Star magazine says the newly single Cameron Diaz is ready to battle for the affections of her former beau Justin Timberlake with his current squeeze Jessica Biel. There was a story about these three in a love triangle back in April 2010, with Justin the man slut as the instigator.

Love Bird Alert™ and hussy alert: More about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux.

Publications: People, Star, In Touch
Date: 11 July 2011

Eventually, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux will be together long enough to have a nice picture of them together. As it stands, they are always being photobombed in one way or another. (The person you can see who seems to be annoying them is Jason Sudelkis.)

In any case, there are three stories in the supermaket rags about them this week. Here are the headlines.

• People: Jen & Justin Romantic NYC weekend
• In Touch: Justin & Jen talking marriage
• Star: Justin & Jen: his jilted ex speaks out

Ah, the good old predictable Star. No punch bowl is complete unless there's a turd in it.

Hussy alert: Jen stole her new man.

Publication: Star
Date: 13 June 2011

Lots of stories about Jennifer Aniston in The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this week and they all have a different slant. Star says she stole her new fella from some unidentified party. They don't name Justin Theroux by name, but he is the consensus pick for her new beau.

After all the guys who have been stolen from her, I say it's only fair she gets a turn, right?

Hussy alert: Kate Hudson stole my man while I was pregnant.

Publication: Star
Date: 23 May 2011

So Kate Hudson is a hussy, if we are to believe Star magazine.

The most recent hussy alert was for her mom Goldie Hawn, so the apple does not fall from the tree.

Hussy alert: Goldie Hawn's wild night with a young hunk.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 April 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The low rent Examiner goes with Hey Old Timer Gossip, telling us Goldie Hawn had a wild romp with some young hunk, which they call "shocking behavior at 65"!

Yes, the ditzy little blond on Laugh-In is now eligible for Social Security.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:How Courteney stole Jen's man!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 April 2011

Yet again, Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of a supermarket rag and, yet again, the story involves her love life.

Did you guess that it ends badly? Yes, I'm sure you did if you have been paying even the tiniest amount of attention. This appears to be a re-hash about the guy Courteney introduced to Jen then stole for herself.

If Kim Kardashian actually does get married, Jen will be all alone in the race for America's Spinster.

But that would be fitting, wouldn't it? Spinsters are supposed to be all alone.

Hussy alert:Kate Gosselin stealing a married man!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 4 October 2010

As usual, I only read the headlines of the supermarket rags and sometimes go to the front page of their websites. Using those two sources, I can't be sure what married man Kate Gosselin is stealing, but I expect it's the bodyguard all the gossips have been clicking their tongues about for the past few weeks.

Hussy alert:Obama's love nest shocker

Publication: Globe
Date: 24 May 2010

The Globe joins its slightly weaker sister publication the Examiner in re-hashing news this week. The difference is that the Examiner is re-hashing confirmed stories from real news outlets while the Globe is re-hashing a story from the National Enquirer.

The Globe names Vera Baker as the hussy in the hotel love nest with Barack Obama. What they neglect to mention on the cover is that this alleged scandal is from 2004 when Ms. Baker was working on Obama's successful senatorial campaign.

It may be true, but I doubt it. I believe that like Wayne Brady, Michelle would choke a bitch.

Hussy alert:Betty White in love with a married man.

Publication: Globe
Date: 24 May 2010

The Globe talks trash about Miss Betty White.

The bunny says it all.