On the rocks alert: Dolly's shocking secret!

 Publication: National Examiner

Date: 12 Dec. 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow!  Last trash of the week... right now!

The Examiner thinks its readers want to know bad things about Miss Dolly Parton.  Here are their headlines, the villians.

• She no longer lives with hubby (Carl Dean)
• He's in mansion, she's in cottage

Saying bad things about Miss Dolly Parton gets a visit from the disapproving rabbit.

Meanest Story nominee: Dolly Parton hides secret son.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 6 June 2011

The low rent Examiner believes its public wants to hear bad things about Miss Dolly Parton.

Personally, I don't want to hear bad things about Miss Dolly Parton and the disapproving rabbit does not want to hear them either.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the week.

Hospitalization alert: Loretta Lynn hospital drama!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 April 2011

Once again, the low rent Examiner thinks what the public really wants to hear is bad news about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Once again, I will let the rabbit speak for me.

Problems With Plastic Alert™: Loretta Lynn to get plastic surgery at age 75.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 March 2011

Once again, the low rent Examiner decides that what the public really wants are stories that portray Miss Loretta Lynn, country music's great living legend, in a negative light.

Well, technically, I am part of the public as is the Disapproving Rabbit, and we feel the same way about negative stories about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Shame on you, low rent Examiner!

Hairdresser and Comfy Shoe Alert:Country music gay scandals.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 17 January 2011

The low rent Examiner puts a bunch of pictures on the cover under the headline "Country Music Gay Scandals!" Among the people listed are:

• Kenny Chesney
• Brice Glenn
• Chely Wright
• Garth Brooks
• Miss Loretta Lynn

I put up the picture of Chely Wright because she is the only openly gay country music singer currently and because she is purdy.



I put up the picture of the disapproving rabbit because the low rent Examiner is talking trash about Miss Loretta Lynn. I have no idea of Miss Loretta's orientation and would not think less of her no matter what. If it's a lie, the rabbit disapproves of lies. If it's the truth, the rabbit disapproves of diving into the secrets of Miss Loretta Lynn for no good reason.

In either case, shame on the low rent Examiner.

Meanest Story nominee:Willie Nelson dying!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 20 December 2010

Welcome to gossip hell, Willie Nelson! The low rent Examiner says the legendary singer-songwriter is not long for this world, and there are "new fears" after his pot bust.

After Miss Loretta Lynn, I would put Willie Nelson as the second greatest living legend in country music today, and as such, this story gets a visit from the disapproving rabbit.

Though I must say, Mr. Nelson himself can express my disapproval every bit as eloquently as the rabbit can. I also love how cheerful a smile Willie can flash while giving someone the middle digit.

What's wrong with Dolly's hands?

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 November 2010

This is the third story about Dolly Parton this year in the tabloids, all the stories in the Examiner or the Globe, the two rags that specialize in Hey Old Timer Gossip. They don't like her much.


The rabbit says how I feel about speaking ill of Dolly Parton.

Meanest Story of the Week: Loretta Lynn collapses as drunken son ruins her 50th anniversary tribute

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 October 2010

Again, it's the Examiner telling bad stories about Miss Loretta Lynn. I'm not even going to have a Meanest Story of the Week competition this week, because this is the meanest story hands down.

Once again, the low rent Examiner gets a visit from the disapproving rabbit, who has a very steady and responsible policy when it comes to bad things being said about Miss Loretta Lynn.

That policy, of course, is: Don't say bad things about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Bad Help Alert:Hollywood nannies tell all

Publication: In Touch
Date: 28 June 2010

In Touch has a story about nannies who blab. The only picture on the cover for this story is of Tom and Suri Cruise.

Notice how Suri has her little toy bun-bun?

When the tabs bring little kids into negative stories, this is my little pet bun-bun.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Betty White snubs Rue McLanahan's funeral

Publication: Globe
Date: 21 June 2010

The Globe wants us to believe bad things about Miss Betty White and Miss Rue McLanahan. I could have gone with a picture of one of these fine entertainers, but I decided to use the disapproving rabbit instead.

This week, the Globe was truly despicable. Next week, they just go back to making up random stuff, but some of it is kind of fun.

Brad Pitt's psychic tells all!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 21 June 2010

I'll admit it. I like Brad Pitt. He's made some excellent movies, he gives a good interview. Some people tsk-tsk about his love life, I say more power to him. He looks like he likes being a daddy.

He likes soccer! He admits to being an atheist! When you are rich, you are allowed to have these kinds of quirks.

He also has a psychic. A blabby psychic, if we can believe Weekly Life & Style this week.

Hmmm.

Talk to the bunny, Mr. Pitt. He speaks for both of us.

Betty White blasts "phony" Hollywood animal lovers

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 June 2010

The Enquirer and the Globe have both trashed Betty White on their covers, so it has to be the turn of the other rag in the top three of most negative supermarket magazine to go after her.

And this story I actually believe.

Betty White is famous as an animal activist. She and Bob Barker have been animal activists long before PETA could grab a single headline. If she thought someone was getting headlines by being against animal cruelty under false pretenses, she would not be shy about it.

As usual, I did not open the magazine to read the story, but if you are a "phony" Hollywood animal activist in the eyes of Miss Betty White, the rabbit does not approve of you, sir or madam.

And neither do I.

Damn You Fat (But Not Really) Alert™:Kourtney gets a tummy tuck after Scott calls her fat

Publication: In Touch
Date: 31 May 2010

More stories about everybody's least favorite love birds, Kourtney Kardashian and her tumor with legs Scott Disick. Scott told her she was fat so she went and got cosmetic surgery.

Ah, young love!
I should give Scott the Disapproving Rabbit more often.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Betty White in a bitter feud with her step daughter

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 31 May 2010

The Enquirer thinks the public is clamoring for dirt about Miss Betty White, beloved icon of all things pleasant in this world.

Talk to the bunny, Enquirer. I am not returning your calls.

Loretta Lynn living in a bus.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 31 May 2010

The National Examiner has decided once again that we want to hear bad stories about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Does this rabbit approve? No, sir, he does not and neither do I.

Hussy alert:Betty White in love with a married man.

Publication: Globe
Date: 24 May 2010

The Globe talks trash about Miss Betty White.

The bunny says it all.

Loretta Lynn's tragic life.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 26 Apr. 2010

Being mean to Miss Loretta Lynn.

The bunny says it all.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Simon and Ryan's back stage brawl

Publication: Globe

Date: 19 Apr. 2010

While the tabloids have gone crazy for Dancing With The Stars, there's still American Idol, the most popular show of the decade. There must be some dirt on that show, right?

According to the Globe, Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell had a backstage brawl. Looking at their relatives sizes, the smart money is on Simon.

But millionaires going out in public on a red carpet wearing t-shirts? This forces me to introduce a new element and new label to the blog, the disapproving rabbit.

Guys! Spend some cash! Show some pride! The public has reasonable expectations of decorum.