We gotta collapser! Garth Brooks breaks down.

Publication: Globe

Date: 7 Nov. 2011

Two separate stories about Garth Brooks in two of the Wicked Step Sister tabloids.  The low rent Examiner says there's a baby on the way, while the Globe says he has broken down in grief with all the bad news about the health of loved ones over the past few months.

 

Best wishes to Garth, his family and friends.

Bun in the Oven Alert™: A baby for Garth and Trisha.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 7 Nov. 2011

The low rent Examiner says there is a baby in the future for Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood.  It was not explicitly on the cover stated if she was pregnant or they planned to adopt.

Breaking news (?): Garth Brooks' cancer tragedy.

Publication: Globe
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Two different gossip magazines promised "breaking news" this week, which is not really possible in this era of the 24 hour news cycle for a magazine that has its front page set by Tuesday and hits the stands on Thursday. The Globe website tells us that Trisha Yearwood's mom has died from cancer. Last year, the low rent Examiner told us Garth's ex-wife Sandy also has a bad prognosis with cancer.

Best wishes to all concerned.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Garth Brooks' stomach staple shocker!

Publication: Globe

Date: 15 August 2011



Years ago, Garth Brooks was skinny, then he was fat. Allegedly, he's skinny again or at least skinnier, and the Globe wants his fans to know he cheated and got his stomach stapled.

Hairdresser and Comfy Shoe Alert:Country music gay scandals.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 17 January 2011

The low rent Examiner puts a bunch of pictures on the cover under the headline "Country Music Gay Scandals!" Among the people listed are:

• Kenny Chesney
• Brice Glenn
• Chely Wright
• Garth Brooks
• Miss Loretta Lynn

I put up the picture of Chely Wright because she is the only openly gay country music singer currently and because she is purdy.



I put up the picture of the disapproving rabbit because the low rent Examiner is talking trash about Miss Loretta Lynn. I have no idea of Miss Loretta's orientation and would not think less of her no matter what. If it's a lie, the rabbit disapproves of lies. If it's the truth, the rabbit disapproves of diving into the secrets of Miss Loretta Lynn for no good reason.

In either case, shame on the low rent Examiner.

Bun In The Oven Alert™?:Garth and Trish's baby secret

Publication: Globe
Date: 3 January 2011

In the secret code of the supermarket rags, "baby secret" means there is no baby and very likely won't be one for the foreseeable future.

With Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood, the "baby secret" is probably that they got hungry and ate one by accident.

Who's Nasty and Who's Nice?

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 13 December 2010



The low rent Examiner, usually in competition with the other Wicked Step Sisters for who can print the most nasty headlines, produces a front cover that is, dare I say it, fair and balanced this week. They have a grab bag story about who is nasty and who is nice, identifying three of each, then they have five pictures of celebrities who they identify inside the magazine. As usual, I didn't open the magazine to find out, but I'll admit I was tempted to do so, and I never want to open up the low rent Examiner.



Here are the three nasty celebrities they identify.

• Dr. Phil McGraw
• Angelina Jolie
• Barbara Walters

I can believe that list.

Here are the three celebrities they identify as nice.

• Angela Lansbury
• Tom Hanks
• George Clooney

Also a believable list.

These are five names they promise to identify inside the magazine as nasty or nice.

• Donald Trump
• Matt Lauer
• Sally Field
• Garth Brooks
• Madonna

Okay, I'm a little curious, but I have a pretty good idea which way each of these goes, at least about the celebrities for whom I actually have formed an opinion.

On the rocks alert:Garth and Trish lead separate lives

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 15 November 2010

According to the low rent Examiner, Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood are no longer living together as man and wife.

Those fights over who gets the last pork chop have obviously taken their toll.

Not Long 4 This World Alert:Garth Brooks' ex-wife's has two years to live

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 19 July 2010

The celebrity death watch from The Three Wicked Stepsisters (Enquirer, Globe, Examiner) continues this week. Someone gets added to the list this evening, but this morning we have two names that have been mentioned before. The only thing that makes these news is the addition of an expiration date. The Examiner says Sandy Brooks has two years to live. I know it's morbid, but I'm going to keep track of these and report back. The new label is Expiration Date.

Here's hoping Ms. Brooks can prove them wrong in July 2012.

Not a man slut alert:Garth Brooks falsely accused of being the 'other man'

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 June 2010

According to the National Examiner, Garth Brooks was named as the co-respondent in a divorce suit, but the tabloid says the charges aren't true.

Somebody might cheat with Garth Brooks, but she would have to be a fame junkie/chubby chaser, and that is a difficult daily double to pull off.

On the rocks alert:Garth's real divorce reason

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 26 Apr. 2010

Yet another headline of country and western heartbreak from the Examiner. Yet another story I really don't care about.

Just a little friendly advice, though.

Garth? Trish? White pants are not your friends.

On the rocks alert:Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks' ex-wife battle over him

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 22 Mar. 2010

This is not a Damn You Fat Alert™, but the Examiner wants you to know that Trisha Yearwood, Garth Brooks' current wife, is battling his ex-wife.

Maybe they are planning on eating him. Details are sketchy.