Meanest story nominee: Miss Loretta Lynn has weeks to live.

Publication: Globe

Date: 14 Nov. 2011

For those of you keeping track, this is now the fifth story in two years in the gutter press predicting the death of Miss Loretta Lynn.  What it really means is there is some over-dramatic Judas with a connection to Miss Lynn who is making money funneling mean stories to the Globe and the low rent Examiner.  Here are this week's headlines.

• Loretta Lynn dying!
• New hospital drama!
• Only weeks to live - pals fear

Let me note that it was two months ago when the headline about Miss Loretta read "THE END".  By saying "weeks to live", I've given this post an "Expiration Date" label and I arbitrarily set the date at the end of the year.

Best wishes to Miss Loretta Lynn, her friends and family, from a fan.  I exclude the "friends" who keeping blabbing bad stuff about her to the tabloids.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: The only country catfight that matters.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

The low rent Examiner has one of those grab bag Who Hates Whom stories on their cover this week, this time dealing with women of country music. I'm ignoring the two preliminary fights to make the main event a Meanest Story of the Week nominee.

According to the low rent Examiner, Miss Loretta Lynn is in a tussle with...

Miss Dolly Parton.

Regular readers will know that when I call some lady "Miss", this means I take a dim view of anyone saying bad things about them.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: Loretta Lynn. THE END

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 12 Sept. 2011

Once again, the vultures of the tabloid press go after Miss Loretta Lynn, this time pumping the warning up to Defcon Whatever. The only other celebrity to get "THE END" treatment was Miss Elizabeth Taylor and she was dead within six weeks of that.

As always, best wishes to Miss Loretta Lynn, her family and friends, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee: Loretta Lynn heart attack nightmare!

Publication: Globe
Date: 1 August 2011

The months roll by, things come and go, but the constant is the dogs from the AMI kennel saying bad things about Miss Loretta Lynn. Now it's the Globe saying the country star and living legend is enduring a "heart attack nightmare".

Here's a tip about reading these headlines. The words "nightmare" and "drama" usually mean "this story is blown all out of proportion". Miss Loretta is now 79 years old, by no means a spring chicken but not as old as it used to be. The tabloids have been trying to kill her off for at least a year and a half.

Best wishes to Miss Loretta Lynn, her family and friends, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee: Loretta Lynn prepares to die!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 4 July 2011

The low rent Examiner is trying to kill off Miss Loretta Lynn once again. The detail they add is a "$10 million promise to her kids".

Sounds like a will. Miss Loretta is now 79 years old and has been very successful, so it only makes sense she has a will. It does not mean she will die soon.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Hospitalization alert: Loretta Lynn hospital drama!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 April 2011

Once again, the low rent Examiner thinks what the public really wants to hear is bad news about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Once again, I will let the rabbit speak for me.

Problems With Plastic Alert™: Loretta Lynn to get plastic surgery at age 75.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 March 2011

Once again, the low rent Examiner decides that what the public really wants are stories that portray Miss Loretta Lynn, country music's great living legend, in a negative light.

Well, technically, I am part of the public as is the Disapproving Rabbit, and we feel the same way about negative stories about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Shame on you, low rent Examiner!

Hairdresser and Comfy Shoe Alert:Country music gay scandals.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 17 January 2011

The low rent Examiner puts a bunch of pictures on the cover under the headline "Country Music Gay Scandals!" Among the people listed are:

• Kenny Chesney
• Brice Glenn
• Chely Wright
• Garth Brooks
• Miss Loretta Lynn

I put up the picture of Chely Wright because she is the only openly gay country music singer currently and because she is purdy.



I put up the picture of the disapproving rabbit because the low rent Examiner is talking trash about Miss Loretta Lynn. I have no idea of Miss Loretta's orientation and would not think less of her no matter what. If it's a lie, the rabbit disapproves of lies. If it's the truth, the rabbit disapproves of diving into the secrets of Miss Loretta Lynn for no good reason.

In either case, shame on the low rent Examiner.

Meanest Story of the Week: Loretta Lynn collapses as drunken son ruins her 50th anniversary tribute

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 October 2010

Again, it's the Examiner telling bad stories about Miss Loretta Lynn. I'm not even going to have a Meanest Story of the Week competition this week, because this is the meanest story hands down.

Once again, the low rent Examiner gets a visit from the disapproving rabbit, who has a very steady and responsible policy when it comes to bad things being said about Miss Loretta Lynn.

That policy, of course, is: Don't say bad things about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Loretta Lynn living in a bus.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 31 May 2010

The National Examiner has decided once again that we want to hear bad stories about Miss Loretta Lynn.

Does this rabbit approve? No, sir, he does not and neither do I.

Loretta Lynn's tragic life.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 26 Apr. 2010

Being mean to Miss Loretta Lynn.

The bunny says it all.

Brave Last Days Alert: Loretta Lynn again

Publication: Globe
Date: 22 Feb. 2010

Yet again, the vultures of the gutter press are circling Miss Loretta Lynn. They did so in December and it didn't come to pass, and they are doing so again.

Of course, we all die eventually. Here's hoping Miss Loretta Lynn is starting her Brave Last 10,000 Days and she gets to sing on every one of them.

Brave Last Days Alert: Loretta Lynn

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: Dec. 2009

Loretta Lynn, aged 75, came down with the flu last month and canceled a performance, a very rare event for the country music legend. The Enquirer posted a Brave Last Days alert, but more recent news is that she is recovering nicely.

Here's hoping this is one of many Brave Last Days Alerts the tabloids get 100% wrong this year. Anyone who ever had a Number One hit with She's Got You is A-Numba-One in Matty Boy's book, and that list begins with Miss Patsy Cline and ends with Miss Loretta Lynn.

This is the Word of the Lord. Amen.