Hussy alert: Cameron battles Jessica for Justin

Publication: Star
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Star magazine says the newly single Cameron Diaz is ready to battle for the affections of her former beau Justin Timberlake with his current squeeze Jessica Biel. There was a story about these three in a love triangle back in April 2010, with Justin the man slut as the instigator.

On the rocks alert: Jessica (Biel) betrayed!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Us Weekly has yet another story about man slut Justin Timberlake cheating on Jessica Biel.

I blush to write this because actresses are among the most attractive women in the public eye, but Jessica Biel doesn't do that much for me. Maybe she just doesn't take a good picture.

On the other hand, Justin's alleged latest conquest, Scarlett Johansson, takes a very good picture. Quite often when a celebrity couple breaks up, one party is portrayed as the cheater and the other as the wronged party. In the case of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett, they both come off as kind of slutty, though Reynolds does get positive stories as a good male role model for Sandra Bullock's adopted son Louis.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The stories of the reconciling of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are just a few weeks old and Weekly Life & Style has a headline that reads "Justin & Jessica: Finally a wedding".

Color me unconvinced.

Love Bird Alert™: How Jessica forgave Justin.

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 12 September 2011



After the break-up of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel earlier this year, only Us Weekly has taken much interest in either of their romantic lives, with the exception of one story in Weekly Life & Style about Justin and Mila Kunis.



Us Weekly printed a story two months ago that the couple was back together, and now they write a follow-up about how she forgave him, and allegedly there was a lot to forgive. I have found some confirmation online that they have been seen together recently.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Justin and Jessica dating again!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Us Weekly has a headline with no artwork, so I don't include a picture either. In this case, I think they don't have artwork not to be cheap, but to have kind of a "guess who?" situation. When they write "Justin and Jessica dating again!", you have to ask "Which Justin?" and "Which Jessica?"

These are very popular names in the gossip world.

We can eliminate Justin Theroux and Justin Bieber, since neither of them has a particularly famous ex-girlfriend. This leaves us with Justin Timberlake, who has squired many well known women, but the most obviously Jessica would be Jessica Biel in this case.

No need to be amazed, Watson. It was elementary.

Love Bird Alert™: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis: It's on!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 20 June 2011

Who is Justin Timberlake shagging this week? If we accept this story in Weekly Life & Style and their public groping at the MTV Movie Awards last week, he's shagging Mila Kunis.

Of course, they have a movie called Friends With Benefits coming out next month, so this all could just be Planted Crap.

Love Bird Alert™?: Justin and Ashley SHOCKING new couple?

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 13 June 2011

Welcome to gossip hell 2011, Ashley Olsen! The twins from Full House are sitting on a pile of cash, but they still manage to look miserable and possibly drug-addled in every picture I see of them. For a change of pace, Ashley is romantically linked with all-star man slut Justin Timberlake, though his publicist has already denied it.

Even Us Weekly showed they didn't completely buy the story, putting a question mark on it and calling the couple "shocking". My read of the situation is that after breaking up with Britney, Justin swore off steaming hot messes and instead prefers women who are just steaming hot.

There are boatloads of them in Hollywood.

Love Bird Alert™: Are Justin and Olivia dating?

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 30 May 2011

Last month, Us Weekly said Justin Timberlake and Olivia Wilde had a sexy date, but now they put a question mark on it.

If we can believe the stories about him, it's an absolute certainty Justin is dating somebody, but I have to say if nobody is dating Olivia Wilde, that would be just wrong. She is freaking adorable.

Love Bird Alert™: Justin and Olivia's sexy date!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 18 April 2011

Remember when Justin Timberlake was romantically involved with Mila Kunis? Well, that was a whole month ago.

Now it's Justin and Olivia's sexy date.

Olivia Munn from The Attack of the Show? You have a good memory, but that was last November.

Welcome to gossip hell, Olivia Wilde! The actress from House M.D. and Tron:Legacy is pretty hot right now, and so is her career, so it only makes sense that she steps up into the big leagues of man slut dating.

But get tested, honey. You never know where Justin's timber has been.

On the rocks alert: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are no longer a couple.

Publications: People, Us Weekly, OK!
Date: 28 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The break-up of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel is a done deal, and it produced six headlines on five different magazines with three different slants this week, so I'm writing three different posts, one per slant.

(Is that clear? I'm a mathematician, so it makes sense to me, but I've been in front of enough classes to know that isn't quite enough.)

All these stories talk about their break-up and either blame Justin for being a man slut or leave it vague. Here are the headlines.

• People: Justin and Jessica
  Inside their split
• OK!: Why Justin dumped Jessica
• Us Weekly: How he broke her heart
  CHEATING AND BETRAYAL
  After Justin dumps her, Jessica must finally face the truth about his double life

Like almost all posts featuring Justin Timberlake, this one gets the "man sluts" label. Some of the Hollywood Lotharios romantically attached to several women in the gossip rags may actually be trying to hide that they bat for the other team.

I don't think Justin Timberlake bats for the other team.

Love Bird Alert™: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis.

Publications: Star, In Touch
Date: 28 March 2010

Fresh trash on Thursdays! We start with the verified story that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have separated. In the gossip world, this is never caused by ennui, but instead by dirty sweaty sex with other people. Both In Touch and Star blame Justin and Mila Kunis, his co-star in the upcoming movie Friends With Benefits. Here are the headlines.

• Star: Justin & Mila, the real story
  Their hot PDAs
  inside the split with Jessica
• In Touch: Justin & Mila - how she stole him

Just being clear to anyone reading this blog for the first time, I have no inside information. I just read the tabloid headlines and report on them. But I am giving the man slut label to Justin Timberlake because I really do believe he's heterosexual and I really do believe he'll shag anything hot in a skirt.

Breaking news: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel call it quits.

You can find this story all over the Internets, so I am not going to give a specific source, but Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have made it official that they are no longer a couple. This picture is from a Laker game last year when Justin saw them up on the big screen and decided dry humping her would be the funniest thing anyone ever saw.

Timberlake's most recent success on screen was playing a man slut in The Social Network. This was not a stretch for him. Every story about him last year in the supermarket rags was a story about him cheating on her.

This is the first mention of either of them this year on the blog, but I expect The Only Ten Magazines That Matter will be featuring both of them more prominently in the weeks and months ahead.

Man Slut Alert:Justin caught cheating with Olivia Munn

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 8 November 2010

Yet again, Justin Timberlake is accused of cheating on Jessica Biel, this time with Olivia Munn, host of Attack of the Show and sometime correspondent on The Daily Show. Yet again, there are NO photos of them together to be found on the Internet, but that's not proof they didn't hook up, now is it?

Man Slut Alert:Justin's new betrayal

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 27 September 2010

The supermarket rags now believe "co-star" equals "sex toy". The rumor mill now has Justin Timberlake, famed man slut, chasing like a lovesick puppy after Mila Kunis, his co-star in the upcoming movie Friends With Benefits.

Officially, Justin has been with Jessica Biel for about three years now.

Man Slut Alert:Justin Timberlake betrays Jessica Biel

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 26 Apr. 2010

Here's the last trash of the tabloid week, clearing the deck for fresh trash tomorrow.

According to Us Weekly, Justin Timberlake is splitting his valuable time between Jessica Biel and Cameron Diaz. Remember that just a month ago, he was linked to a stripper, so he definitely has some serious time management skillz.

The editors of this supermarket rag add the extra detail that he loves being fought over.

And here I just thought he liked to have sex with as many women as possible.

On the rocks alert:Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

Publication: In Touch

Date: 29 Mar. 2010

Just in case you had forgotten, man slut Justin Timberlake is currently in a long term relationship with actress Jessica Biel, which should mean exotic dancers, tattooed or otherwise, are off the menu. In Touch tells us they are ready to split.

Man Slut Alert:Justin Timberlake caught with exotic dancer

Publications: Star, Weekly Life and Style

Date: 29 Mar. 2010

Justin Timberlake gets three tabloid headlines this week. Two of them link him with an exotic dancer. No word if the dancer has tattoos, because we now know that this detail can make all the difference.

Love Bird Alert™: Cameron in bed with Justin

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 22 Mar. 2010

OMG! Didn't they break up like... forever ago? Are sparks flying again?

Thanks for asking, hypothetical question asker. The answers in order are yes and no.

They're in a movie together. They have a scene in bed.

Bait and switch much, Weekly Life & Style?