Least interesting story of the week: Pam Anderson to play the Virgin Mary

Publication: Globe

Date: 5 Dec. 2011

The Globe is OUTRAGED! Pam Anderson is slated to play the Virgin Mary on a Canadian TV comedy. The Globe also did not include a picture of Ms. Anderson to go along with their OUTRAGE, so no picture will be included here either.

This makes this true report the Least Interesting Story of the Week.

Least interesting story of the week: NASCAR drug scandal explodes!

Publication: Globe

Date: 21 Nov. 2011

No picture is included on the cover, as well as no names, so I will follow suit.

Nothing to see here.  Literally.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Jessica Simpson postpones her wedding.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Yet again, a celebrity story is on the cover of a supermarket rag without any artwork, so it gets the nod for Least Interesting Story of the Week. I'm sneaking it into the extended Thursday line-up because we have two Jessica Simpson stories that disagree with one another.

Besides no artwork, OK! reported the same story two weeks ago. This means Us is two weeks late and a picture short.

For shame, I say, for shame!

Least interesting cover story of the week: Dancing With The Stars rehab shockers!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

The Enquirer did not put any artwork with this headline about Dancing With The Stars,though there is the sub-headline "boozing, drugs and mental problems".

This had a chance to be the Meanest Story of the Week if they had named names, but without specific targets, it becomes the "Least interesting story of the week".

Bells Are Ringing Alert™ and Least interesting story of the week: Kourtney says "yes" to Scott.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick make their return to the covers of the supermarket rags, but only as an afterthought. Weekly Life & Style has a big picture of Kim Kardashian and her new hubby Kris Humphries on the cover and a single headline with no picture that reads "Plus: Kourtney says 'yes' to Scott".



I'm not sure if the quotation marks around 'yes' are meant to signify an actual quote or some ironic comment by the headline writers.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Raising kids in Hollywood.

Publication: Star

Date: 15 August 2011



The plague of gossip magazine cover stories without artwork continues. This time, Star talks to people about raising kids in Hollywood, though no names are mentioned and I can't imagine who in Hollywood is stupid enough to talk to the piranhas at Star.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Soap star's secret wedding (photo inside)

Publication: Globe
Date: 8 August 2011

The annoying custom of stories without cover art continues, this time a teaser about a celebrity wedding without even a name on the cover. I didn't open the magazine to find out who and it wasn't on their website. If you care about this, you'll have to go find the magazine yourself.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Hollywood divorce lawyers tell all!

Publication: Star
Date: 18 July 2011

The cover of the Star is dominated by three divorce stories mentioned in the post just above this one, but they also have a teaser for another story about Hollywood divorce lawyers spilling their secrets about other clients. There is no artwork with this story because it's a "Guess who?" kind of deal. Here are the headlines.

• Cross-Dressing!
• Caught with the Nanny!
• Murder by Hit Man
• & more shocking secrets!
  

Least interesting cover story of the week: Justin and Jessica dating again!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Us Weekly has a headline with no artwork, so I don't include a picture either. In this case, I think they don't have artwork not to be cheap, but to have kind of a "guess who?" situation. When they write "Justin and Jessica dating again!", you have to ask "Which Justin?" and "Which Jessica?"

These are very popular names in the gossip world.

We can eliminate Justin Theroux and Justin Bieber, since neither of them has a particularly famous ex-girlfriend. This leaves us with Justin Timberlake, who has squired many well known women, but the most obviously Jessica would be Jessica Biel in this case.

No need to be amazed, Watson. It was elementary.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Fans wage war to save the soaps!

Publication: Globe
Date: 4 July 2011

The Globe has yet another story without cover art. This time it's "Breaking News!" that the fans of soap operas are trying to save the canceled shows.

There is no cover art, so I don't include a picture here either.

Least interesting cover story of the week: The film Hunger Games will be juicier than the book!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 20 June 2011

The Hunger Games is the new hit trilogy in young adult sci-fi, so some bright filmmaker is hoping it will turn into a hit like the young adult fantasy books Harry Potter and Twilight. Weekly Life & Style tells us it will be juicier on film, but supplies no juicy picture.

Just more planted crap AND planted crap without a photo to accompany it, the worst kind.

Least interesting story of the week: Bethenny's at home yoga plan.

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 6 June 2011

The plague of cover stories without artwork is spreading through The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, and this week Us Weekly succumbs. Bethenny Frankel of Real Housewives is trying to sell a yoga plan, but there is no picture of her stretching or looking serene or anything.

If Us Weekly doesn't think this story is worth a picture, then neither do I.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Sweepstakes for $5,000 trip to Biggest Loser finale.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 16 May 2011

Yet another gossip rag gets on the "no artwork for a cover story" bandwagon. The cheaper mags in the AMI kennel do this all the time, but this is the first I can recall from The Flagship. It's also rare for the Enquirer to get involved in promotional giveaways.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Globe tries to save the canceled soap operas

Publication: Globe
Date: 9 May 2011

The Globe has an artwork free headline asking readers to sign an petition to save and All My Children and One Life To Live.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Bret Michael's heath and upcoming wedding.

Publication: Star
Date: 9 May 2011

Star has a headline about Bret Michaels' health and upcoming wedding to his longtime girlfriend. They do not have any picture to accompany this story, so I won't put up a picture either.

Way too many gossip rags are getting into this habit.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Twilight wedding pics, but not on the cover.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 April 2011

The practice of having a cover story without artwork continues and is spreading. Weekly Life & Style says they have pictures from the wedding from the latest installment of Twilight, but they don't show even a sneak peek on the cover, so I won't add any artwork either.

I'm trying to shame the gossip rags out of this. It's not working. Obviously, shame is not the right tactic to use on these people, but I will continue trying.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Royal bachelor party details!

Publication: OK!
Date: 11 April 2011

The lazy practice of a headline without any artwork is spreading, sad to say. This week, it's OK!, who promised back in December they were the official magazine of the Royal Wedding, who tell us they have details of the bachelor party, but do not include a single picture of Princes Harry or William or Snoop Dogg or anybody.

This is not OK! in my book.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Donald Trump doubts Obama was born in the U.S.A.

Publication: Globe
Date: 4 April 2011

Thick fingered vulgarian Donald Trump shows that he's serious about the Republican nomination for the presidency by hopping aboard the high speed rail to Crazy Town and showing himself to be a birther. This is yet another Globe headline without any picture and so it gets no picture from me and the label Least Interesting Story of the Week.

Actually, any story about Donald Trump that doesn't include a picture is a blessing, isn't it?

Least interesting cover story of the week: Scandals and secrets of the new cast of Dancing With The Stars

Publication: Globe
Date: 21 March 2011

The two minor Wicked Stepsisters, the low rent Examiner and the Globe, have taken to putting a single story teaser headline at the bottom of the cover with no accompanying picture. Accordingly, I will not include a picture in my post and give these headlines the Least Interesting Story of the Week label. The Globe's contribution this week to the new category is an exposé of the latest cast of Dancing With The Stars, which is blissfully Palin free.

Least interesting cover story of the week: The Best and Worst Hollywood haircuts!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 21 March 2011

Recently, the low rent Examiner and its sister publication the Globe have had one headline without a picture at the very bottom of the cover, and I have decided to follow suit on stories like these and not include a picture either. This week they promise a story about Hollywood's best and worst haircuts, but there are no examples given on the front.

Last week's NASCAR story had no cover picture, but I included a picture that time. That's the last time I'm going to go the extra mile for the these cheap bastards. I am going to give these stories when they appear the label of "Least interesting story of the week", hoping to shame them into stopping this practice.

Shaming tabloids?! Yes, I know it's a serious long shot.