Love bird alert™: J. Lo's new man meets her kids.

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 12 Dec. 2011

For the record, the guy now squiring Jennifer Lopez is named Casper Smart.

Going on the record, I think the only thing smart about him is his last name.

I mention his name because eventually some gossip rag will.  Right now, he's just "J. Lo's new boyfriend", so he gets no label yet.

Who know? Maybe they will become J-Casp or LoSmart or some other cute name.

Personally, I'm not holding my breath. I think he's romantic roadkill.

Hollywood stylists tell all!

Publication: Star 

Date: 5 Dec. 2011

Star has one of those grab bag "bad help" stories dominating the front cover. This time it's Hollywood stylists dishing dirt.  First there's a list of "Guess who" gossip, followed by specific insults.  The part of the story that listed who smelled bad was published already as a Meanest Story of the Week nominee.

Here's the guess who part.

• Who's a hoarder! 
• Who duct tapes her boobs! 
• Who goes commando!

J. Lo: Cellulite & Spanx

Angie: padded butt

Britney: Fast food stains on borrowed clothing!

Serena: bald spot

Kathie Lee: It's the pits!

This week's stories about Jennifer Lopez's love life.

Publications: In Touch, Us Weekly

Date: 5 Dec. 2011

Lots of stories about J. Lo this week in the gossip rags.  There are two stories about her love life and she's mentioned in a "Stylists Tell All" grab bag that will be covered tomorrow.  Here are the love life headlines.

• In Touch: J. Lo: Dating a criminal
• Us Weekly: Sex with her ex:J. Lo and Marc's secret hookup

Love bird alert™: J. Lo dating a 24-year-old.

Publications: People, Weekly Life & Style

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays.  Two stories about Jennifer Lopez, singer, actress, TV personality and high maintenance beee-yotch extraordinaire, has a new boy toy who does not meet the Sophisticated French Rule.  She is now 42, so half her age plus seven is 28 and she is dating a 24-year-old.

Typical diva nonsense.  Here are the headlines.

• People: J. Lo's new man: He's 24
• Weekly Life & Style:  42-year-old J. Lo dating a 24-year-old!

 Here's where I usually type some encouragement, but this woman has to get over herself.

Damn you skinny (or fat) alert: What the stars really weigh.

Publication: Star

Date: 21 Nov. 2011

Star says they know what celebrities really weigh.  On the cover, Britney Spears is listed at 132 lbs., Gabourney Sibide at 269 lbs. and a picture of Jennifer Lopez with a promise to tell her weight inside the magazine. As usual, I don't open the magazine to find out the answer to a guessing game.

 

Love Bird Alert™: When J. Lo & Bradley's affair really started.

Publication: OK!

Date: 7 Nov. 2011

As the story stands right now, Jennifer Lopez is the jilted party, what with her poodle of a husband Marc Anthony sniffing around Jada Pinkett Smith and messing the whole thing up.  But this week, OK! says they know when J. Lo and her new beau Bradley Cooper really started seeing each other, which could completely change the whole "who jilted whom?" balance.

As usual, I didn't open the magazine to read it, so it could still be Marc got tired of Jennifer's well-formed-but-not-worth-the-grief hinder.

Love Bird Alert™: J. Lo and Bradley Cooper.

(photo credit: Peter Kramer/AP)
Publications: People, OK!, Us Weekly
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

Five weeks ago, there was a flurry of five stories about Jennifer Lopez dating Bradley Cooper. This week, a second smaller flurry of three stories talks about the new couple. Their relationship has also reached an important gossip milestone, since there are now actual pictures of them together in public easily available on the Internet. Here are the headlines.

• People: J. Lo & Bradley: It's on!
• OK!: J. Lo & Bradley Caught!
  She's not even divorced yet!
• Us Weekly: Jen's secret romance
  After Bradley pursues her for weeks with late-night calls and intimate dinners, J. Lo spends the night. Why she took a chance on him
  

I know I'm just a lowly blogger, but I have two pieces of advice for Mr. Cooper.

1. Sun screen.
2. RUN! No, the other direction.

Love Bird Alert™: J. Lo's new man is...

Publication: OK!
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! OK! has a teaser headline, promising an exclusive story on who Jennifer Lopez's new fella is.

I never play the guessing game stuff, but I will finish the sentence.

J. Lo's new man is... a damn fool if he doesn't get as far away from this drama queen as he can and double quick, too!

Love Bird Alert™: J. Lo has dinner date with Bradley Cooper.

(picture from TMZ.COM/rights by Getty Images)
Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash... on Wednesdays? Yes, all but two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have online presence, so I can check out the covers today, and one story hit all the covers of the non-AMI mags. Jennifer Lopez and Bradley Cooper were seen dining together, and though their representatives say it was business, the gossip rags are having a field day. Here are the headlines.

• People: J. Lo's dinner with Bradley Cooper
• OK!: J. Lo and Bradley's hot date (only in OK!)
• Weekly Life & Style: Marc can't handle it
  J. Lo and Bradley's hot date
• In Touch: J. Lo and Bradley: Hot New Romance
• Us Weekly: J. Lo and Bradley: Revenge Date
  

Besides this story getting five mentions and two of them implying that Jennifer is only doing this to get back at her cheating spouse, my favorite detail is OK! being delusional enough to think this story is an exclusive. The picture I nicked is from TMZ.com, which published this story back on Sunday.

People and Us Weekly have Fall fashion issues.

Publications: Us Weekly, People
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Both Us and People mimic Vogue this week by having a Fall fashion issue. It's the biggest story on the cover of Us, with a large photo of Jennifer Lopez and no comments about her recent marital issues, here are the headlines.

• The Style Issue
• 52 pages of extra fashion
• Major discounts inside
• J. Lo's tips for making Fall's trends work for you
• 124 splurges for under $100!
• Bags, shoes, the perfect jeans - how to dress like a star for less!
  
  

People has just a small headline for their Fall fashion special with a picture of Blake Lively.

They also include a picture of Zoe Saldana.

On the rocks alert: Why Marc left J. Lo

Publication: OK!
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

I thought there was a chance Jennifer Lopez would become more of a gossip target once she joined the judging panel on American Idol, but The Only Ten Magazines That Matter don't devote that much ink to that show. Now that her marriage has fallen apart and the rumors are that she was the dumpee and not the dumper, her gossip star is rising.

This week, OK!, usually the nicest of the gossip rags if not the most reliable, lets her cheating estranged husband drag her name through the mud.

Not that she doesn't deserve it.

On the rocks alert with a side of Hairdresser Alert: Even more about Will and Jada and Marc and J. Lo.

Publications: Star, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch
Date: 12 Sept. 2011

Still more about the alleged cuckolding of Will Smith in the supermarket rags this week, though only Jada's name appears in all three headlines, which are as follows.

• Weekly Life & Style: Did Marc really chose Jada over J. Lo?
• In Touch: Jada & Marc: what J. Lo knew
  
• Star: Will & Jada: Scientology and Gay Scandal
  Truth about their marriage

Doesn't being famous look like all the fun in the world?

Annoying label bookkeeping for Will Smith-Jada Pinkett Smith separation story.

Link to the story above.

Meanest story nominee: Marc Anthony's $14 million tell all book!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 22 August 2011

The Flagship tells us little Marc Anthony is going to get his revenge against mean ol' Jennifer Lopez with the favorite artifact of the gossip world, the tell all book. Here are the headlines.

• J. Lo's worst nightmare
• the ultimate revenge
• secret hookups with P. Diddy
• Butt implants and $100,000 plastic surgery
• Their shocking domestic violence
• Voodoo, witchcraft and animal sacrifices

While sex with Diddy is kinda icky, the domestic violence and animal sacrifices are the special touches that make this a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Love Bird Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: J. Lo and sexy co-star drive Marc Anthony nuts!

Publications: Us Weekly, Weekly Life & Style, Star
Date: 15 August 2011

J. Lo's divorce is creating a lot of stories for the supermarket gossip rags and her co-star Rodrigo Santoro is now being tossed into the mix. Here are the headlines.

• Us Weekly: He begs for a second chance but…
  J. Lo tells Marc NO WAY!
  Jen takes their kids and vows to make him pay
  How hunky new costar drives Marc nuts
• Weekly Life & Style: J. Lo's revenge romance
  That was quick!
  Steamy nights and nude scenes with sexy Latin co-star Rodrigo Santoro
  Inside her plot to drive jealous Marc crazy
  "I'm happier than ever"
• Star: J. Lo's big lie exposed
  (World Exclusive) Divorce deal blows up!
  Court showdown: questions about cheating and sex tape
  
  

As anyone who reads this blog knows, I have no inside information, barely even any information inside the magazine covers. But J. Lo's statement "I'm happier than ever" when her twins are now going through a divorce as well makes me think she is a seriously self-centered bee-otch.

Love Bird Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: J. Lo alone and... back together with Ben Affleck?

Publications: People, Us Weekly, Weekly Life & Style, OK!
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! So, now that J. Lo and Marc Anthony are no more, do we care about how he's doing?

Please. Get serious. It's all J. Lo all the time on the covers of the magazines this week. Here are the stories about her whooping it up.

• People: J. Lo Solo: Her birthday without Marc
• Us Weekly: J.Lo Parties Post Split
• Weekly Life & Style: J. Lo's revenge

And then there's OK!, the nicest of the supermarket rags if not the most reliable, They say she's going to get back together with Ben Affleck.

• OK!: The plan to get Ben and J. Lo back together!
  Inside their private talks!
  All the intimate details
  Even J. Lo's mom is in on it!

Affleck isn't a fixture in the Only Ten Magazines That Matter, but there have been some stories about trouble in his marriage to Jennifer Garner.

Even if they are true, let me say this.

Ben. Buddy. I know we've never met and it's exceedingly unlikely you'll ever read this, but going back to J. Lo would be the worst move of your career, and I'm including Gigli and Smokin' Aces.

On the rocks alert: The J. Lo - Marc Anthony break-up takes center stage.

Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Star, Us Weekly, National Enquirer
Date: 1 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Easily the biggest story of the week is the divorce of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony with mentions on seven of ten supermarket rag covers. Here are the headlines.

• People: : J. Lo and Marc Anthony: Their marriage explodes
  The real story
  Their constant fighting
  rumors of infidelity
  jealousy issues
  what's next?
• OK!: J Lo's divorce shocker!
  Marc's been seeing his sexy ex-wife!
• In Touch: J. Lo's agony
  Marc's jealous rage
• Star: Inside J. Lo's bitter $250 million divorce
  Sexless nights
  Other women, other men
  Final screaming match
• Weekly Life & Style: $300 M divorce
  The cheating rumors that tore them apart
• Us Weekly: Cheating and Lies
  Her side of the story
  Marc caught with stewardess
  Screaming fights about flirting with costars
  A secret e-mail to Ben Affleck
  His desperate need to control her
• National Enquirer: J. Lo caught!
  Did this photo end their marriage?
  

Breaking news: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony divorcing.

Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 15 July 2011

Trying to hide a story in the Friday news dump is not just for Washington D.C. anymore. Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez have decided to end their seven year marriage. To recap some of the stories of the past year in the gossip rags, Marc Anthony was allegedly not happy about her taking the job on American False Idol and in January she had an interview with the standard crap line "My kids saved me."

Maybe they saved her a bundle on car insurance. They sure couldn't save this drama queen's marriage.

J. Lo's ex-lover tells all!

Publication: Star
Date: 20 June 2011

Star says they have dirt from an ex-lover of Jennifer Lopez.

They are going to have to be more specific. That really doesn't shrink the field of possible sources very much.

Stars without make-up: May 2011 edition.

Publication: Star
Date: 23 May 2011

Star has picutres of actresses, singers and models without make-up and almost all of them look not very good to downright awful. There was one "guess who?" picture of a model, but I don't play that game. The people identified are J. Lo, Teri Hatcher, Meg Ryan and Kirstie Alley.