Surprisingly nice headline of the week:Fans love Doris Day's new album.

Publication: Globe
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

The dogs in the AMI kennel have been trying to kill off Doris Day for a couple years now, and when she decided to record a new album at 87 years old, they published a story that she was desperate for money.

Well, guess what? Doris still has fans and the fans are very happy with her new work.

Good for you, Miss Day.

(Once I had a Secret) Love Bird Alert: Paul McCartney and Doris Day

Publication: Globe
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The Globe runs with a cover story that Paul McCartney and Doris Day had a love affair some 46 years ago. You can read the conversation Sir Paul had with Miss Day online from earlier this month that says he was a fan back in the day, an interview published by the reputable Telegraph from the U.K. No mention of fluid transfer is made.

The good news in this dishonest headline is that at least they aren't trying to bury Miss Day, which is the usual headline in the supermarket rags.

Meanest story nominee: Doris Day pleads for your prayers in her sad last days

Publication: Sun
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

For the second time in 2011, the Sun has a set of predictions supposed to occur this year that includes a Brave Last Days alert. In June, they said a weeping statue would herald Billy Graham going home to heaven, and now they say Doris Day wants your prayers in her Sad Last Days.

If it's any consolation to either Mr. Graham or Ms. Day, as bad as the tabloid vultures are at predicting death, the Sun and their prophecies are even worse.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Hey Old Timer Gossip: Doris Day to release first album in over twenty years.

Publication: Globe

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



The tabloids tell us someone is near death more than once a week on average and their prophecy record pretty much sucks. This week, three people on the Vulture List get stories that make it sound like they aren't ready to leave us just yet. Burt Reynolds might lose his house, Dick Van Dyke has a new lease on life with a girlfriend less than half his age and now Doris Day is said to be recording a new album, a story I found confirmed by other sources. The Globe says its her first album in 29 years, while the independent confirmation says she recorded one in 1994, which is only 17 years ago. Alleged "insiders" fear that the 87 year old singer and actress is only making this recording because she is going broke.



Stay classy, Globe.

Meanest story nominee: Miss Doris Day's dying wish!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 11 July 2011

The season has recently changed so it must be time for our quarterly "Doris Day is dying!" alert. The Globe had three of these stories last year and now the low rent Examiner publishes its second this year. (Once this year, Miss Day was comforting a dying James Garner instead of dying herself.) They add the detail that there is a tragic secret she is keeping from her fans.

In terms of repeated warnings, Miss Doris Day is far behind the treatment the vultures of the gutter press gave Miss Elizabeth Taylor, but slightly ahead of the number of times we've been told Billy Graham is soon to meet his maker.

Best wishes to Miss Day, her family, friends and pets.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Brave Last Days Alert: Doris Day comforts dying James Garner.

Publication: Globe
Date: 11 April 2011

I haven't been able to find a copy of the low rent Examiner in Oakland this week, so if we want to hear about stars from the 1960s on their last legs, we'll just have to do with the Globe. According to this Wicked Step Sister, Doris Day has reached out to comfort her co-star from Move Over, Darling and The Thrill of it All, since they say he is going to die soon.

The Globe had a Brave Last Days alert for Mr. Garner back in May 2010. Ms. Day has been slated for death three times in 2010 by the Globe and once this year by the low rent Examiner.

Best wishes to all involved.

Meanest Story nominee: Five celebs get the Sad Last Days treatment.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 14 March 2011

In late January 2010, the low rent Examiner had a Sad Last Days round-up of celebrities, naming four people they said were on their last legs. In general, the vultures of the gutter press are terrible at predictions of who will die and when, but last year's list was Dennis Hopper, Rue McLanahan, Barbara Billingsley and Dick Clark. Of that list, only Dick Clark survived to see 2011, which means they got three out of four, much better than the general prediction rate which stands at about one in ten.

This year's list has five people, three who have been marked for death earlier by the tabloids and two new names. Once again, they pick on Bob Barker, Miss Doris Day and Miss Elizabeth Taylor.

New to the death watch list is former First Lady Nancy Reagan.

Also added to the tabloid tontine is star of Gunsmoke James Arness.

Best wishes to the all the people mentioned, their family and friends.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

UPDATE: Miss Elizabeth Taylor died on March 23, 2011.

UPDATE: James Arness died on June 3, 2011.

Meanest Story nominee:Doris Day's fight for life

Publication: Globe
Date: 22 November 2010

While the Enquirer is intent on killing Michael Douglas, the Globe wants to kill Doris Day. This is the third serious health condition for Miss Day reported this year. This time they say it's a lung infection.

Best wishes to Miss Day, her family, friends and pets, from a fan.

Brave Last Days Alert:Doris Day once again

Publication: Globe
Date: 5 July 2010

This is the second Brave Last Days alert for Doris Day, both of them in the Globe. They actually use the words "lonely" and "heartbreaking" instead of "brave", but the intent is the same.

Best wishes to Miss Day, her family and friends.

Brave Last Days Alert:Doris Day with UPDATE

Publication: Globe

Date: 12 Apr. 2010

The Globe headline reads "Doris Day Prepares To Die". If Cher's "deadly disease" headline is the lowest level of Brave Last Days Alert, this qualifies as the highest.

Again, this blog sends its best wishes to anyone the tabloids put on this list. Eventually, someone who they say is dying will actually die, but it's April 1st and their dead pool list does not have a single hit yet.

UPDATE: A detail I left out of the original post is that Ms. Day is spending $250,000 for a home her beloved pets can live in after she is gone.