Buns in the Oven alerts™! Babies for Carrie and Fergie

 Publication: OK!

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

OK!, the nicest if not the most reliable of the gossip rags, plasters the word "Official!" across their cover this week and announces two pregnancies.

The first is Carrie Underwood.  This has been denied.

The second is Fergie, singer with the Black Eyed Peas, pictured here with her husband Josh Duhamel.  The couple has denied this rumor as well.

Easy rule of thumb.  The only gossip rag where the word "official" really means official is People. All the rest of them make stuff up on a regular basis, nice or otherwise.

Bun in the oven alert™: Jen's baby bump.

Publication: OK!
Date: 7 Nov. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! OK!, the nicest of the supermarket rags if not the most reliable, is trying to get America's Spinster Jennifer Aniston pregnant. This week's headline reads:

Jen: her baby bump gets bigger

The story has already been denied.

Bun in the oven alert™: Wills'N'Kate decide when their baby will be born!

Publications: OK!, In Touch
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

The Globe had it as a throwaway sub-headline, but OK! and In Touch think it's worth a story on its own. Wills'N'Kate have set a date for the birth of their baby. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: William and Kate talk the royal baby!
• In Touch: Kate a baby in June

Okay, we just started October, so nine months from now is early July. Is she like two weeks pregnant? There hasn't been any official confirmation, and it's really hard to set an exact date this far out, so I'm going to give both In Touch and OK! a fail label for this one.

I'll take it back if I'm wrong.

Bun in the oven alert™: New pictures prove Jen is pregnant!

Publication: OK!
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

Jennifer Aniston is definitely a star of the gossip rags. As it is with BrAngelina, so has it come to pass with her. She doesn't actually have to do anything, she only has to exist and they will be glad to make up crap about her. This week it's OK!, the nicest of the gossip rags if not the most reliable, saying they have photographic proof she is heavy with child.

• bigger boobs
• telltale bump
• curvier booty!
• 'This is the happiest I've ever been!'
• PLUS Why Justin will be a great dad!
  

The story has already been denied.

Bells Aren't Ringing Alert™ and Bun In The Oven Alert™: Kim's wedding and pregnancy news.

Publications: In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, OK!
Date: 13 June 2011

After People's big scoop last week of announcing the official engagement of Kim Kardashian to Kris Humphries, a passel of the non-AMI tabloids have jumped on the bandwagon this week. In fact, only Us Weekly declined to join in on the fun. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Kim's bridezilla demands
• Weekly Life & Style: Kim's $3 million summer wedding
• OK!: Kim's wedding surprise
  I'm having a baby!
  She reveals her big news to family and friends.
  An overjoyed Kim says, "I can't stop crying"

Kim has already denied the pregnancy rumor.

Note: The picture of Kim in the wedding dress is from last year when she was engaged to Reggie Bush. She was trying on her mom's old dress.

Non scoop of the week! Katie Holmes is pregnant with her second child.

Publication: OK!
Date: 23 May 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! OK!, easily the nicest but hardly the most reliable of the gossip rags, goes big with the story that Katie Holmes is pregnant. Here are the headlines.

• Katie: It's official!
• "Yes, I'm pregnant!"
• A telltale bump, prenatal vitamins - now she tells friends:
• Suri will finally be a big sister

Representatives for Ms. Holmes have already denied the story. This is the fifth story of her being pregnant in the last year and a half.

Note that Star magazine lied about Katie Holmes, she sued them and they settled out of court for a loss, having to apologize and pay. The important difference between that lie and this lie is that Star implied Katie was a drug addict, and drug addicts find it hard to get work. OK! is lying about a pregnancy, and having kids is not a barrier to employment, so I don't expect the lawyers to give OK! a call, even though they got this one wrong.

Bun In The Oven Alert™? :Jen's big baby news confirmed!

Publication: OK!
Date: 21 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! If there was a contest for the most gossip-worthy organs in Hollywood, Jennifer Aniston's ovaries would likely be in first place, even more worthy of speculation than Charlie Sheen's liver or brain. The sub-headlines read:

• A Baby on my own!
• "It's a done deal!"
  
• Jen shocks friends on her European tour by revealing she's finally going to be a mom

Of course, it might not be her ovaries. She could be Pulling a Bullock and adopting, which was the story in late January when Star plastered her picture all over the cover.

You can pick up OK! yourself to find out if she's preggers or adopting, but it really doesn't matter. The story in January was denied and this one is being denied as well.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Kourtney and Scott heading down the aisle! Finally! (psych.)

Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 28 February 2011

Two different gossip rags going with the same story, which one of the mags calls an exclusive.

So that's one lie. But the story has to be true, right?

Not according to Kourtney Kardashian, and about this, she should know.

If you still want to read the lying headlines, here they are.

Weekly Life & Style: Why Kourtney finally said yes to Scott

OK!: Kourtney and Scott exclusive
the ring, the kiss, engaged to be married
Biggest Kardashian wedding yet
all the intimate details
How Scott won her trust
"We want another baby"

You have to hand it to OK! This may be a work of fiction, but it's almost long enough to be a novella. You have to admire the handiwork, if not the fact checking.

Bun In The Oven Alert™:Hank and Kendra having a baby

Publication: OK!
Date: 21 February 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! But whenever it's about Kendra Wilkinson, it seems a little stale.

She's always supposed to be an inch away from dumping her husband Hank Baskett, but OK! tells us they are actually ever so happy and going to have baby #2. Their love is stronger than ever, little Hank Jr. will be the best big brother ever, and there are private photos of them inside the magazine, though I think Kendra has a serious difficulty defining the word "private", and not just because she's stone stupid.

And as is often the case with OK!, the story is just made up garbage. She is not actually pregnant, and God only knows if she really wants to be again and if she does feel that way, how she will feel tomorrow.

Bells Done Rung™ Alert:Rob and Kristen JUST MARRIED

Publication: OK!
Date: 29 November 2010

I've already expressed my distaste for the magazines in the AMI kennel, notably the Enquirer, Globe, Examiner and Star, many times. They are mean and their headline writers have no regard for the truth. I'm starting to dislike OK! just as much. They are not mean. In fact, no other magazine prints as many positive headlines as OK! But their headline writers are just as guilty of lying as anyone who cashes a paycheck from AMI.

This week, OK! devotes most of the cover to the big news that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are JUST MARRIED! The details include the big event was in Brazil and the honeymoon was in Rio.

It's not true, not a word of it. I'm sorry if this is a spoiler for anyone, but that's actually part of the story of the movie series the two actors are best known for, Twilight.

This would be a good time to recall that OK! went with several stories about Jennifer Aniston being pregnant back early this summer, none of which were true, but she did have a movie coming out where her character got pregnant.

OK! is not the only gossip rag guilty of implying events that happen on screen to characters are actually happening to the actors themselves. Katie Holmes was playing Jackie Kennedy in a TV miniseries shot earlier this year that will air on the History Channel in 2011, and Weekly Life & Style made it sound like Katie was pregnant instead of her playing Jackie when she was pregnant. That story made me invent the Most Dishonest Story Of The Week label, which I am happy to give to this story of fake wedded bliss this week.

I really should trot out this label more often.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™:Double wedding for Britney and Jamie Lynn

Publication: OK!
Date: 6 September 2010

Last week, OK! magazine had Jamie Lynn Spears back together with her baby daddy Casey Aldridge. This week, the headlines trumpet there will be a double wedding, Jamie Lynn and Casey walking down the aisle as the opening act, with big sister Britney tying the knot with Jason Trawick as the headliner.

The story has already been denied by publicists.

This story is very typical of OK!, far and away the nicest of the supermarket rags. They tell positive stories about people getting married and having babies and the like, but the stuff is complete fabrication, like their several weeks of trumpeting that Jennifer Aniston was having a baby when all she was doing was publicity for a movie where her character had a baby. It's almost as if OK! is aiming for a demographic that can't tell fantasy from reality.

Love Bird Alert™:Jen's a mom by dating a divorced dad

Publication: OK!
Date: 26 July 2010

OK! will not give up the story that Jennifer Aniston is a mom. They want desperately to remove her from the Hollywood spinster list and they will concoct any cock and bull story to make this dream of theirs come true. The most recent dodge is that she is dating Christopher Gartin, the actor who played Hugo on three episodes of True Blood, and that Jen is great with Chris' kids from a previous marriage, so much so that his ex-wife is extremely jealous.

Every part of the story has been denied. Aniston and Gartin are old friends but not romantically involved.

This combination of lying, moving the goalposts of the lie and then lying some more about the new lie reminds me of the weapons of mass destruction crap that got us into Iraq. I blush to make this comparison, since the result of this extended load of nonsense won't be the unnecessary deaths of hundreds of thousands of people, just the reduction of OK!'s reliability to the level of the Globe and the Examiner.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™:Rob and Kristen wedding details

Publication: OK!
Date: 12 July 2010

Last trash of the week! OK!, the nicest of the supermarket rags but by no means the most reliable, gives details about the wedding of the Twilight co-stars. The couple have denied every rumor the magazine has published about their alleged whirlwind romance, including this one. The website GossipCop has the details stretching back to last year, before this blog got started.

When the Enquirer lies about people, things are always put in the worst conceivable light. Jail time is often a possibility, or sometimes an early death or suicide attempt. When OK! lies about people, it's always making up happy endings like romances and love and babies for everybody.

But in the end, the operative word is "lies".

Bun In The Oven Alert™:Jennifer Aniston is having a baby.

Publication: OK!
Date: 5 July 2010

OK! has the big headline of the week, written in big bright yellow letters. YES! I'M HAVING A BABY is written next to a picture of Jennifer Aniston and OK! has the sneak peak of the interview where Jen tells all. Sounds like a quote, doesn't it? I mean, no one else can use the word "I" in that sentence if it's a sentence about Jen, right?

Not a quote.

While I don't read the stories inside the magazine, I do check online for confirmation, and those sources say that the story in OK! has no actual quotes from Ms. Aniston and is just third person speculation. Ms. Aniston's representatives have already denied the story.

Here's the thing about OK!, okay? Of the Only Ten Magazines That Matter, they have the highest percentage of positive stories on their covers by a wide margin, but is telling nice lies about people really that much "nicer" than telling mean lies?

They were hoping to have a cover story as big as Sandy's introduction of little Louis. This is a big fail at the time of publication.

Bun In The Oven Alert™:Kristen Stewart is pregnant!

Publication: OK!
Date: 27 May 2010

OMG!!! Did you hear? You won't believe it but it has to be true!

Kristen is pregnant with Rob's baby! Bella is going to have a little baby vampire!

Why does it have to be true? Because Rob told it to Oprah!

You can't lie to Oprah! She has that golden lasso thing! It has to be true!

OMG!!!!1!

(Editor's note: Good punchy prose, but it needs more exclamation points.)

Bun In The Oven Alert™?Jennifer Aniston pregnant with Gerard Butler's baby

Publication: OK!

Date: 19 Apr. 2010

The headline on OK! blares CONFIRMED! as they tell us of Jennifer Aniston's pregnancy with bad boy (read: man slut) Gerard Butler as the father, but according to gossipcop.com, the story inside the magazine shows it's just speculation with a lot of "maybes" and "mights" thrown in.

There are a lot of people who will tell us how careful the tabloids are about confirmed stories in these days of expensive lawsuits, but it's not true, especially when it comes to the headline writers, whose job is to make things interesting, not accurate.