Bun in the oven alert™: New pictures prove Jen is pregnant!

Publication: OK!
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

Jennifer Aniston is definitely a star of the gossip rags. As it is with BrAngelina, so has it come to pass with her. She doesn't actually have to do anything, she only has to exist and they will be glad to make up crap about her. This week it's OK!, the nicest of the gossip rags if not the most reliable, saying they have photographic proof she is heavy with child.

• bigger boobs
• telltale bump
• curvier booty!
• 'This is the happiest I've ever been!'
• PLUS Why Justin will be a great dad!
  

The story has already been denied.

Good Dad Alert™: President Obama on being a good father.

Publication: People
Date: 20 June 2011

Father's Day is next weekend, but People decided to put a cover story about Barack Hussein Huxtable Obama's tenure as a good father.

Whatever anyone thinks of him politically, I think his record as a father so far is exemplary, thank you very much. Some might say his girls are too young to get into trouble and I might concede that point.

I might, but look at how old the Palin girls are and they are already showing signs of being white hot messes.

I wish the president and his family a very happy Father's Day next Sunday and hope with all my heart that this is the last time his girls get mentioned in The Only Ten Magazines That Matter until they graduate high school, graduate college, get married and have babies, hopefully in that order.