Meanest story nominee: Reese Witherspoon's brain surgery drama!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Earlier this month, Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car and briefly hospitalized. It was a one day story in the online gossip world and the timing was bad for the supermarket rags. But more than a week later, the Enquirer puts her on the cover with overly sensational headlines.

• Days after being hit by car
• Reese's Brain Surgery Drama!
  
• World Exclusive photos inside
• It could be deadly!

Technically, any strong concussion can turn deadly, but it's rare. For the serious over-reaction, this is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Breaking news: Reese Witherspoon hit by car while jogging, briefly hospitalized.

(photo from Getty Images)
Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 7 September 2011

The Huffington Post is reporting that actress and recent bride Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car while jogging in Santa Monica and briefly hospitalized. Her representative says she is now home and resting comfortably.

Best wishes to Ms. Witherspoon, her family and friends, from a fan.

Bun in the oven alert™?: Reese looks pregnant!

Publication: OK!
Date: 25 July 2011

OK!, the nicest of the supermarket checkout rags if not the most reliable, tells us little Reese Witherspoon looks pregnant. Here are the headlines.

• Breaking baby news
• First, a dream wedding - now Reese has another reason to celebrate!
  

I should remind my readers that if everything we read on the cover of OK! was true, we would know be hip deep in Kardashian rugrats.

Bun in the oven alert: Reese: baby news!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 18 July 2011

Reese Witherspoon was not a big star in the tabloids last year, but her marriage to Jim Toth was a popular topic in early 2011. Of course, the logical progression of these stories is the preparation of the wedding, the wedding itself, the honeymoon and then the pregnancy rumors.

Reese's story is now in the pregnancy rumor phase.

Love Bird Alert™: Inside Reese's honeymoon.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 25 April 2011

Reese Witherspoon got married last month already, but the gossip rags are not getting tired of telling us about it yet. Her husband Jim Toth is not mentioned by name, but he does get a picture, so he also gets a label.

This continuing interest might have something to do with Reese having a movie in theaters right now called Water For Elephants, so I'm also giving this story the Planted Crap label.

Bun In The Oven Alert™: Reese and Khloe's pregnancy news

Publication: OK!
Date: 18 April 2011

Once again, OK! shows itself to be positive and unreliable, putting stories about "pregnancy news" on the cover about women who have not said they are pregnant, but that they would like to be pregnant.

Reese Witherspoon would like to have a kid with her new husband. She is not currently pregnant.

Khloe Kardashian would like to have a child with Lamar Odom. She is not currently pregnant.

You're welcome.

Bells Done Rung™ Alert: Pictures of Reese's dream day

Publication: People
Date: 18 April 2011

It stands to reason that THE wedding of the year is coming up in a few weeks in London, but if we look at the coverage in The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, it's Reese Witherspoon's wedding to Jim Toth that is a nearly equal Big Damn Deal. Wills'N'Kate are in the top ten for gossip rag covers for 2011, but that is in large part because the Globe hates them so much and has produced about half the cover stories about them, all negative. Take that one magazine away and the royal couple are neck and neck with little Reese Witherspoon walking down the aisle for the second time, with all those stories having a positive slant.

In accordance with this blog's pro-love policy, we wish the happy couple all the best.

Annoying label bookkeeping #8

This is a link to the post below made necessary by the massive number of labels for the story.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Reese's wedding joy.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 4 April 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Unlike Natalie Portman, who is ruining the fun for the gossip world by having a quickie wedding, Reese Witherspoon's upcoming ceremony has been planned for months, which gives all the interested supermarket rags plenty of time to put together stories they can talk about on their cover. Weekly Life & Style had the exact same news on the cover five weeks ago, also with no details.

Best wishes to the happy couple, which includes the never photographed groom to be Jim Toth.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Reese's Big Day Details. Yet again.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 28 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Us Weekly becomes the third gossip rag this year to give us details about Reese Witherspoon's upcoming wedding. The sub-headline reads:

• The dress, her diet, who's invited

Best wishes to the happy couple, though yet again the name of her intended, agent Jim Toth, is one of those details not important enough to make the cover.

Annoying label bookkeeping #4

Because of too many labels, this post is a link to the post above.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Reese's Big Day Details

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 28 February 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Three weeks ago, People had the story of Reese Witherspoon's upcoming wedding on the cover and this week, Weekly Life & Style decides to go with it as well, though all the promised details are on the inside, including the name of her intended, talent agent Jim Toth.

Best wishes to the happy couple.

Bells are Ringing Alert™:Reese's Wedding Countdown

Publication: People
Date: 7 February 2011

People devotes the lion's share of the cover to the story of Reese Witherspoon's upcoming wedding to agent Jim Toth. Here are the headlines.

• Reese's Wedding Countdown
• Second chance at love
• Why Jim's the one
• Inside Reese's plans for her romantic big day
• Dress shopping
• Can't wait to marry the grown up her friends say she deserves

Best wishes to the happy couple.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™:Stars engaged

Publication: People
Date: 17 January 2011

People has a story on the cover about the celebrities who are recently engaged, but instead of showing several pictures of couples, they go with only a single picture of Reese Witherspoon, who is engaged to Jim Toth, an agent with CAA. Us Weekly speculated about the engagement back in October of last year, but that story was denied at the time.

Best wishes to the happy couple and whatever other happy couples People wants you to read about but won't put on the cover.