Four prophecies for 2011!

Publication: Sun
Date: 20 June 2011

The Sun gives us four prophecies for 2011, but none of them involve the End of the World or even so much as a plague or terrorist attack. Still, they have expiration dates, so they can be tested for accuracy.

Hillary Clinton is going to announce a run for the presidency.

Miss Betty White will buy a baseball team and they will win the World Series.

NASA files reveal why JFK really died.

(Did the shot come from outer space?)

And a weeping statue predicts Billy Graham's last days.

By the end of the year, I will report back on all these predictions.

Meanest Story nominee: Billy Graham goes home to die.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 6 June 2011

The low rent Examiner tries to kill off evangelist Billy Graham one more time. The 92 year old preacher was hospitalized this month, but he recovered and was sent home. The most despicable and desperate gossip rag says it was only done so he could die in the comfort of his home and he will die "within weeks".

It should be noted that the low rent Examiner had Graham's "final wish" back in May 2010 and his final message to America back just before Christmas. Usually, I would think a recently hospitalized 92 year old probably is getting close to the end, but when you realize he is both young and in better condition than Zsa Zsa Gabor.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Billy Graham fought demons... and won!

Publication: Sun
Date: 18 April 2011

The Sun had its usual fare on the cover this week. You know, end of the world just around the corner, in fact just "weeks away". But, that's not a testable date, so I'm not broadcasting that story.

They did have a headline they called a "last days shocker" that Billy Graham claims to have fought demons... and won!

If that's goofy Christian code talk for saying he's cut his son Franklin out of his will, well... that would truly be a blessing.

'Cos that mofo is crazy.

What George W. Bush confessed to Billy Graham!

Publication: Globe
Date: 17 January 2011

The Globe reports on a true story, that George W. Bush and Billy Graham had a meeting recently, and then promises to reveal the secret confession of the former president to the aging evangelist of his greatest sin.

I don't know what he told Billy Graham, but I expect Bush doesn't even know his greatest sins. His greatest sins were starting two wars he did not know how to finish, costing thousands of American lives and trillions of American dollars, promising to keep southwest Asia in misery and chaos for decades to come. He thinks those were two bold and victorious decisions.