Meanest story nominee: Sarah Palin destroyed!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

To give the devil his due, let us stipulate that the National Enquirer is an equal opportunity hater. They can pour the hate on people all over the political spectrum, from John Edwards and Al Gore to Rush Limbaugh and now, Sarah Palin. Here are the headlines.

• Sarah Plain destroyed after new book exposes her secrets & lies
• Todd filing for divorce
• She WON'T run in presidential race
  

I have a hard time believing Todd will divorce her, but I think they are right about her not running. She's in this game to make money, not to burn through it in a presidential campaign.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: The Enquirer gets a Sarah Palin laundry list of scandals from the new Joe McGinniss.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Say what you will about the Three Wicked Step Sister tabloids, they are equal opportunity haters across the political spectrum. They've slagged anyone in the White House since at least Bill Clinton, they've gone after John Edwards and Al Gore, but also Rush Limbaugh and now, Sarah Palin. They took the juiciest stories from the new book to be released by Joe McGinniss and put them on the cover this week. Here are the headlines.

• Sarah cheated on Todd with Glen Rice
• Husband Todd's racial violence
• Her naked nights with young girls
• She abandoned her kids
  

For those without a score card, Glen Rice is an NBA player and Sarah's alleged affair took place before she was married to Todd.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: Inside Sarah Palin's secret nightmare!

Publication: Globe
Date: 15 August 2011

As much as I dislike Sarah Palin and her brood, I feel some sympathy for anyone whose name is dragged through the mud by the Three Wicked Step Sister tabloids, the Enquirer, Globe and the low rent Examiner. This week, it's the Globe's turn to spread rumors that Sarah and Todd's marriage is at the breaking point and it's up to their unwed, underage and already surgically disfigured daughter/single mom Bristol to fix the damage.

It's clear that American Media, Inc. doesn't want her to be president, so at least we have that in common. I would rather make this happen by telling the awful truth about her and not spreading lies, and that's where AMI and I part company.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee: Sarah Palin walks out on Todd!

Publication: Globe
Date: 13 June 2011

The Three Wicked Step Sisters hate Sarah Palin so much, you'd think she was a Scientologist. (Must her pallin' around with Greta Van Susterin so much.) In any case, the Globe is reporting that the marriage of Sarah and Todd is through. Here are the headlines.

• Cheating, lies & jealousy
• She moves into $1.7 million mansion in Arizona
• Divorce scandal explodes
  

It should be noted that the low rent Examiner said they were divorcing back in September, long before all the massage therapist rumors started in the Enquirer.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee: Sarah Palin's worst nightmare... Todd's love child!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 11 April 2011

Last January, the Enquirer went with a story from an Alaskan massage therapist that she slept with Todd Palin. The story failed to gain much traction, but the Enquirer is nothing if not persistent. They now says that Sarah Plain's worst nightmare would be Todd fathering a child out of wedlock.

The headline is kind of vague and they don't promise pictures of the alleged child or mom, so I expect the story is just more Enquirer bullshit. This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

On the rocks alert: Divorce shockers!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 14 March 2011

The Enquirer gives most of their cover space this week to three stories of couples allegedly in marital distress. First off, they say the marriage of reality TV stars Sarah and Todd Palin is in trouble because of a nude photo scandal.

Let me say it: ick.

The Flagship also says that TomKat are going through a bumpy patch.

"Get out!" says somebody to somebody, the Enquirer claims. They also write "Tortured life with Tom erupts".

As regular readers know, TomKat are minor league compared to BrAngelina, but this is the eighteenth appearance for the couple since the beginning of 2010 and the fifth cover story this year, which means they are gaining momentum.

Welcome to gossip hell, James Brolin! Last year, Babs got one mention on a cover for showing off her home to People, but this year the couple gets their first tabloid appearance because of alleged difficulties in their thirteen year marriage. The Enquirer says their story is full of tears, insults and "therapy" secrets.

If the other two stories are true, well, it serves at least one person in each marriage right, but I hope the Enquirer got this one wrong. I hate the thought of Babs making James Brolin cry.

Meanest Story nominee:Massage therapist claims she slept with Todd Palin.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 7 February 2011

The Flagship continues the story of the wandering eye (and other body parts) of Todd Palin, who they still refer to as "Sarah Palin's husband" on the cover. They also have a picture of the massage therapist (in this case, read "hooker") who makes the claim she got horizontal with The First Dude, and the woman in the picture is not particularly attractive, which makes the story harder to believe. Since last week's story of Todd's faithlessness won Meanest Story of the Week, this one also gets nominated.

For anyone who thinks this proves the National Enquirer's left wing bias, be reminded that they found a massage therapist last year to say bad things about Al Gore, though the police and legitimate news sources found her story less than credible.

Meanest Story nominee:Todd Palin caught up in sex scandal!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 31 January 2011

If it's a competition for Meanest Story of the Week, it is only fit and proper the The Flagship has at least one nominee. This week they go with the story that the Palin marriage is in trouble. According to the Enquirer headline writers, Todd is such a forgettable nobody that the headline reads, "Sarah Palin's husband caught up in sex scandal! The woman who threatens their marriage!"

As little as I might like these two, they've raised five kids (with mixed results) through thick and thin and I doubt either one of them wants to get off the gravy train now. The Enquirer loves to print this stuff because they know how thin-skinned she is and that she has to respond to everything. There is yet another Sarah story in the tabs this week, but this one gets a Meanest Story nominee.

Love Bird Alert™:Inside the marriage of Sarah and Todd

Publication: People
Date: 22 November 2010

People has a cover story about the marriage of Todd and Sarah Palin. There are no ominous question marks in the headline, so I assume their story is that everything is just peachy for the newly loaded couple.

On the Rocks Alert:Sarah and Todd's $20 million divorce deal

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 4 October 2010

A lot of the profiles about Sarah Palin make it sound like Todd is as close a personal and political confidant as she has. According to the low rent Examiner, success has made a failure of their home, as Miss Loretta Lynn has famously sung.

Also, the Examiner has a funny idea how divorce works. They have a divorce deal, but he's going to stay, despite daily screaming matches, sleeping in separate bedrooms and her violent temper.

Todd, buddy! I don't know how things work up in America's Socialist Ice Box, but down here in the Lower 48, a divorce means you split the property and you get to leave the bitch.

Think it over. It sounds like a win-win situation.