Weekly World News alert: Missiles target Michelle Obama's bedroom

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)

Date: 14 Nov. 2011

The Sun had nothing of interest as far as prophecies go on the cover this week, so it falls to the Weekly World News people to pick up the slack.  Missiles targeted Michelle Obama's bedroom allegedly.  The picture was of some hotel someplace and not the White House, so it must have been on one of her many lavish trips at taxpayer expense.

Rich people are rich: Michelle Obama's spending out of control!

Publication: Globe
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

The Globe gets in on the story the other Wicked Step Sister tabloids have been trying to sell for a while now, that Michelle Obama is spending like a crazy person. Here are the headlines.

• Vacations
• Fashions
• Parties
• Now she wants movie star's $28 million mansion
  

Problems With Plastic Alert and Fussin' and Feudin' Alert: Hillary's secret plastic surgery!

Publication: Globe
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

The Globe continues with the theme that Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton really don't like one another. Here are the headlines.

• After Michelle Obama calls her old, sloppy & fat…
• Hillary's secret plastic surgery!
• Now she's ready to kick the Obamas out of the White House!
  

Meanest story nominee: Michelle Obama spends $10 million of YOUR tax dollars on vacation!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The Three Wicked Step Sister tabloids have been attacking the people in the White House since at least Bill Clinton, but there have been several stories of a different nature about the Obamas that imply that they are stealing from the American People.

You know... because they're colored.

Here are this week's headlines about Michelle Obama from the low rent Examiner.

• Michelle Obama spends $10 m of your tax dollars on vacation
• Special report
• Taxpayers sue to get it back
  

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Michelle Obama insults Hillary!

Publication: Globe
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

The Globe rehashes the story that Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton are at each others' throats. Here are the headlines.

• Michelle Obama insults Hillary!
• It's war!
• First Lady's bitter outburst sparks tearful breakdown

On the rocks alert: Obamas' secret split.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 July 2011

Ever since Clinton, the gossip rags have loved writing that the presidential marriage is in trouble, especially the Globe and the low rent Examiner. This week, Michelle has had enough and she is now living a life apart from Barack Hussein Lothario Obama.

The low rent Examiner and the Sun are the only two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter that don't have online versions. This is because both are made on the cheap. Still, we are supposed to believe the low rent Examiner is able to dig up scoops on two of the best protected people on the planet.

The Sun only expects us to believe in the End of the World about six times a year and there's a Bat Boy who was found in a cave.

Meanest story nominee: Michelle storms out!

Publication: Globe
Date: 11 July 2011

If we were to accept the word from the AMI kennel, Michelle Obama is constantly in a raging bad mood, the American equivalent of Camilla Parker-Bowles. Here are the headlines.

• Hates life in the White House
• Shocking fights with Prez
  

On their website, they add the detail that she is moving out and taking the girls back to Chicago with her.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: Michelle in a rage over Barack's other women.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 23 May 2011

Stories that the president is cheating on the First Lady has been popular in the AMI kennel for some time now. Of course, it was true when Clinton was in office, but the Three Wicked Step Sisters also told similar stories about George W. Bush and now Barack Hussein Playa Obama. Instead of giving direct evidence of infidelity, the low rent Examiner tells us that scary Michelle is even scarier than usual.

This is a Meanest Story of the Week nominee.

Weekly World News alert: Is that an alien with Michelle Obama?

Publication: Weekly World News
Date: 4 April 2011

The Weekly World News alien has been around for a long time, meeting with various political leaders in Washington for at least two decades. This cover from the mid 1990's had him meeting with Newt Gingrich, but being an up to date alien, this week he meets with the First Lady.

What Michelle is hiding from America!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 March 2011

The low rent Examiner once again lets us in that Michelle Obama is hiding stuff, big scary stuff that could bring her husband's presidency crumbling down.

That's because they are scary!!!

You know, because they're... colored.

You may think that phrase is out of date, but given the Old Timers who read the low rent Examiner, I wouldn't be surprised if their average reader still uses that word.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Prince William snubs Obamas!

Publication: Globe
Date: 10 January 2011

According to the Globe, Prince William has banned the President and First Lady from the royal wedding, and Michelle in particular is furious.

For a historical perspective, Nancy Reagan attended the last royal wedding, but the President stayed home.