It's October, and there is still more Teen Mom crap. Sigh.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

I just want it to be over, but I've gotten used to disappointment. I went back to look at all the Teen Mom posts to see which magazines are most to blame, and it's OK! and In Touch, but this week it's Weekly Life & Style. Here are the headlines.

• (Exclusive) Teen Moms give up their babies… so they can party
• Jenelle moves in with friends and ditches Jace
• Amber's drinking again after rehab
  

All the Teen Mom crap for 10 Oct. 2011

Publications: OK!, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly
Date: 10 Oct. 11

Four supermarket gossip rags decided to take a dip in the cesspool that is Teen Mom. Here are the headlines, three about Farrah Abraham and one about Catelynn Lowell, just in case anyone reading this can tell the difference between these half-witted bimbettes.

• OK!: Teen Mom Farrah: back with her baby
• In Touch: Farrah's baby: Ditched to party
• Weekly Life & Style: Farrah's regret: She wants Sophia back
• Us Weekly: Teen Mom Catelynn: Afraid Tyler will dump her

Note that there are three completely different takes on the Farrah story, and In Touch and Weekly Life & Style are owned by the same company. Some one need to work on getting their stories straight.

The Teen Mom noise continues.

Publication: OK!
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Last week, Weekly Life & Style had Farrah Abraham from Teen Mom on the cover with the story that she was giving up her baby. This week, OK! does an "exclusive" follow-up that her family is demanding she take her daughter Sophia back.

Other than the Kardashians, this is the show the supermarket rags like to report on the most, followed closely by Dancing With The Stars.

We don't deserve to survive as a species.

Back to more Teen Mom crap.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Regular readers know how I feel about Teen Mom, so let's just get to the headlines.

• Teen Mom Farrah: Why she gave up her baby
• The shocking reason she changed her mind about keeping Sophia
• Their emotional goodbye
• A selfish decision or a sacrifice for a better life?
• Exclusive interview
  

Bun in the oven alert™: Maci Bookout expecting a second kid.

Publication: In Touch

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



We got a week's respite from Teen Mom last week, but of course that didn't last. According to In Touch, Maci Bookout is pregnant with Baby #2. She is now 20, so technically no longer a Teen Mom.

Just one Teen Mom story this week. Which is still one too many.

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 29 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Us Weekly brings us a story about Maci Bookout of Teen Mom infamy being tortured by her ex. The sub headline reads "Fighting about custody, at war with his mom, haunted by her secret feelings - why Maci can't let Ryan go, and how it's hurting her family."



With any luck, the interest in this show will burn out like interest in the Gosselins did.



But it could take years, which is stunning to me, since my interest in this burned out as soon as I heard the show's premise.

Getting the Teen Mom stuff out of the way for 22 August.

Publication: OK!

Date: 22 August 2011



I whine every time there's another Teen Mom story and not without cause. As of today, there have been more Teen Mom stories than there are about any other TV show I have a label for, with 39 since the beginning of the year, more than one a week.



This means more weeks with Teen Mom headline stories in 2011 so far than Kim Kardashian cover stories over the same time frame.



Pathetic on more levels than I can count.



In any case, there are pictures of Maci Bookout and Amber Portwood with the headline "Splits, drugs and money trouble".



I think I hate Teen Mom more than I hate Andrew Breitbart, but I'll admit the difference isn't great.

All this week's Teen Mom crap.

Publications: Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly
Date: 15 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays!

I keep waiting for the Teen Mom stories to end.

Luckily, I am not holding my breath while waiting, because that would be fatal. Here are the headlines, sadly plural:

• Weekly Life & Style: Teen Mom Farrah love after loss
• Us Weekly: Maci fires back: Ryan won't destroy us

I don't want any of them destroyed. I just want all of them ignored.

Is that too much to ask?

(Don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question.)

Least interesting cover story of the week: Maci betrayed by Ryan's nude scandal

Publication: OK!
Date: 8 August 2011

It's always a treat when there is no Teen Mom story on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, which was the case last week. This week is almost as good, since there is only one story and it has no artwork associated, a headline about Maci and Ryan and some nude scandal, though it sounds like he's nekkid instead of her, which is slightly unusual in these cases.

I feel about Teen Mom the way Jan Brady felt about Marcia.

Publications: In Touch, OK!
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Teen Mom nonsense abides. I report with no further comment.

• OK!: Maci & Kyle Split: She's still in loved with Ryan
• In Touch: Teen Mom dating disasters!
  In love with cheaters, druggies and a killer!
  Leah: Since Corey left, she's hooking up with three different guys!
  Farrah: Can't stop crying over new violent bad boy
  Maci: Wedding on hold! Why her ex Ryan is to blame
  
  

Let's get the Teen Mom crap out of the way. Because there's a boat load this week.

Publications: In Touch, OK!, Us Weekly
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! If you have been to this blog before, you know how I feel about Teen Mom. It would be nearly impossible for me to be clearer, though I will take a shot at the end of this post. But at the beginning of the year, I promised that any story on the cover of any magazine that mentioned someone or made a verifiable (or falsifiable) prediction would get a mention on this blog.

About the only thing I leave out are health tips and horoscopes on the cover of the Sun.

So here are the headlines, three on the different mags and with three different Teen Moms in focus.

• In Touch: Teen Mom ruined our lives (pictures of Farrah Abraham and Maci Bookout)
  anorexia, addiction and abuse
  living on cigarettes and popcorn to lose weight
  downing pills to mask the pain
  "bribed" to stay on the show
• Us Weekly: I want Kyle's Baby (Maci Bookout)
• OK!: Leah: a new man and a new child

I know I shouldn't harp on this stuff or I will just give myself an aneurysm, but the "bribe" to stay on the show is that these stupid girls - and they are still girls - are being paid the princely sum of $280,000 a season to have their stupid lives turned into fish bowls.

That's an obscene amount of money to pay some little bimbo for the mistake of having a baby before she graduates high school. (And yes, Bristol Palin gets included in this tirade as well, even though MTV isn't paying her.) No defense MTV makes for this show carries a milligram of weight, and the gossip rags that keep printing this shit are equally as guilty.

In a world that makes sense, people wouldn't watch this crap and magazines wouldn't write about it.

Getting the Teen Mom stuff out of the way for 11 July.

Publications: OK!, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 11 July 2011

Three Teen Mom stories this week, two about the failure named Amber Portwood and one about the relative success named Catelynn Lowell. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Losing Leah: After rehab, Amber fears she'll never see her baby again.
• In Touch: Amber's tears: "My baby doesn't know me"
• Weekly Life & Style: Teen Mom Catelynn: College, wedding and babies
  
  

Meanest Story nominee: Amber's deathbed confession!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 4 July 2011

Anyone who has read this blog before knows how much I dislike the entire concept of the reality show Teen Mom. Since I haven't watched it, I don't have a least favorite star of this show, but having read headlines, it seems like Amber Portwood is one of the most disagreeable.

It is my fond wish that these young women would not be on TV, but I'm not wishing them dead.

In Touch uses the word "deathbed" in a cover story about Amber Portwood. She did attempt suicide, but it wasn't anywhere near a successful attempt, so it wasn't really a "deathbed confession".

The gossip rags have only used the word "deathbed" in three cases prior to this in the last eighteen months. They have used it to describe Elizabeth Edwards and Elizabeth Taylor after they died, and they used it in a story about Zsa Zsa Gabor when it looked like she was going to die.

Zsa Zsa is 93. Amber is 21. Claiming Zsa Zsa was on her deathbed can be listed as an honest mistake.

This, on the other hand, is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Getting the inevitable Teen Mom stuff out of the way yet again.

Publication: OK!
Date: 27 June 2011

Teen Mom, or as i like to call it, The Plague That Did Not Pass Over, gets more ink on the cover of OK! this week. Here are the headlines.

• Maci: I'm finally a bride
  Excited Maci exclaims, "This is the happiest day of my life!"
  Leah gets custody of the twins

Bells are Ringing Alert™: Teen Mom Laci plans to elope.

Publication: OK!
Date: 20 June 2011

Another story from the Teen Mom locust swarm, this one saying Maci Bookout will elope.

This is the second most popular reality TV show among The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this year, with only Dancing With The Stars, currently between seasons, getting more weeks of exposure. The good news, if I can call it that, is that the show is mainly being followed by two magazines, OK! and In Touch. In the unlikely event of the editors at those two magazines losing interest in this crap, this plague might finally pass over.

Getting the inevitable Teen Mom stuff out of the way.

Publication: OK!
Date: 13 June 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The two worst offenders when it comes to cover stories about the awful young women on Teen Mom are OK! and In Touch. This week it's the former, with the headline "new feuds, babies and a bride" and pictures of Maci Bookout, Amber Portwood and Farrah Abraham.

It continues to be the plague that did not pass over.

Love Bird Alert™: Teen Mom Leah dating her ex's friend

Publication: In Touch

Date: 6 June 2011

Regular readers will know that I consider Teen Mom the plague that did not pass over. Thankfully, there is only one story about these stupid young women on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this week, a story about Leah dating the ex of a friend of hers.

Unless there is some flurry of stories about real celebrities, with Arnold and Maria are the best candidates currently, some Teen Mom is very likely to be in the top ten celebrities for 2011 for the foreseeable future.

Let's get the Teen Mom crap out of the way early.

Publication: OK!
Date: 30 May 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The good news is that only one gossip rag has Teen Mom crap on their cover this week. The bad news is that we can't get rid of this plague, which among reality TV shows is only surpassed by Dancing With The Stars for interest from the Only Ten Magazines That Matter.

I don't watch Dancing With The Stars, but at least I understand how someone could watch it. This show's appeal mystifies me completely. Anyway, here are the headlines.

• Leah's shock: Another Teen Mom Baby
  exclusive interview
  PLUS Corey starts a second family with a new woman and child
  Jenelle's rehab diary: "It's a nightmare."
  

Demon Something Alert™: Jenelle Evans goes to rehab.

Publication: OK!
Date: 23 May 2011

Last week was so chock full of royal wedding stuff, it was blissfully Teen Mom free. The pessimist in me knew it couldn't last and once again he was proven right.

Jenelle Evans is heading to rehab. You mean her nasty, erratic behavior has something to do with artificial ingredients? I am shocked and stunned.

No, wait... what's the opposite and shocked and stunned? Whatever it is, that's what I am.

Bun in the oven alert™?: Teen Mom Leah's pregnancy shocker!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 9 May 2011

One good result of all the royal wedding coverage is less space on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter for Teen Mom. Over the past eight weeks, there have been at least two Teen Mom stories per week in the supermarket rags, but this week only one, a "pregnancy shocker" involving Leah Messer.

Readers should be advised that the words "shocker" and "drama" on the cover quite often mean the story inside is the opposite of what you expect.