Secrets taken to the grave alert: Another story about Jackie O.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

The low rent Examiner goes for nothing but Hey Old Timer Gossip this week, including a story that claims Jackie O took some secret to her grave.

Honestly, won't everybody take at least one secret to the grave?

Kick several corpses, why don'tcha? The Jackie tapes, both real and imaginary.

Publications: People, National Examiner
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The top and the bottom of the supermarket gossip food chain have cover stories about the Jackie Kennedy Onassis tapes that have been released.

Let's start with the headlines on People.

• Jackie's secret life
• New revelations, new questions
• Fifty years after the White House, the iconic First Lady still fascinates. A look at her life, her loves, her private pain and her enduring style

And then there's the low rent Examiner with the alleged inside scoop.

• Secret Jackie O tapes
• What wasn't allowed on TV
• Plan to make John Jr. president
• Who really killed JFK!
• White House affairs - his and hers!
  

Meanest story nominee: Yet another premature story about the Jackie O tapes.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 8 August 2011

Okay, let's get the facts out of the way first. There are tapes of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis that have not been released to the public. According to reliable sources, Caroline Kennedy will authorize their release this September.

Now we are expected to believe the low rent Examiner has a source that will tell us what's on them. They promise a look inside her "shattered life" and the secret of who was really behind the assassination of JFK.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

He fought the Law alert:Kennedy family stalker

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 February 2011

The low rent Examiner gets another story right, and they give it a Hey Old Timer Gossip slant to keep their demographic interested. The headline reads "Jackie's granddaughter has a stalker!", because the name Tatianna Schlossberg just won't sell newspapers. They did not include a picture of young Tatianna, but they did have the name and photo of Naeem Ahmed, whose obviously Arabic name makes him even scarier. He has been in custody since early December awaiting psychiatric evaluation.

Hey Old Timer Gossip:Jackie Kennedy's secret tapes revealed.

Publication: Globe
Date: 31 January 2011

The Globe says they have secret tapes of Jackie Kennedy revealed by her daughter Caroline. In them, she says who killed J.F.K. and she talks about how heartbroken she was over his affair with Marilyn Monroe.

The tapes actually exist and Caroline Kennedy has decided to release them on the 50th anniversary of her father's inauguration. We will see how juicy they are soon enough.

Kick several corpses, why don'tcha?Ted Kennedy's secret diary

Publication: Globe
Date: 19 July 2010

Fresh trash on Thursdays!

I've only seen eight of the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter this week, the ones that put previews online. Of those, this one gets my vote for Meanest Story of the Week. The Globe, one of the unreliable and cheap sister publications of the Enquirer, says they have Ted Kennedy's secret diary. In this alleged bombshell of a historical find, Ted claims he and Jackie were lovers and Aristotle Onassis plotted to kill Ted.

How many of the people involved have denied this story? As you might guess, none, because all of them are dead.

You might notice that there is a hand in the foreground of the picture of Jackie and Ted together that doesn't belong to either of them. There was a third person in this photo and I cropped him out since he's not in the story. Some might consider this dishonest. Compared to the Globe, I am a rank amateur at dishonesty.

Kick several corpses, why don'tcha?Jackie O secret tapes reveal who was behind JFK killing

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 28 June 2010

The Examiner wins the Hey Old Timer Gossip derby this week by have two stories in that category, the one about Anne Francis and this one about Jackie O keeping secrets about the JFK assassination.

As we know, being dead does not immediately disqualify people as being cover fodder for the tabloids, so it's a little unusual that the year is half gone and this is the first mention of Jackie in the tabs this year.