Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™ and On the Rocks Alert: Oprah incensed as Gayle steals Stedman!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

The Oprah/Gayle/Stedman triangle has been an unstable situation for some time now according to the gossip rags, but how about a curveball to throw it completely out of whack? Yes, Stedman is seeing Gayle according to the low rent Examiner. They call this "breaking news", the latest fad in these slow moving publishing dinosaurs, and of course, Oprah is furious.

Meanest story nominee: Oprah and Stedman's fight turns physical!

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 29 August 2011



Oprah is still one of the favorite punching bags for the dogs from the AMI kennel, and while they write something positive about her once in a blue moon. Stedman Graham is only trotted out for negative stories. This time it's his brother, whose name is not given on the cover. The cops were called to his house, says a pal.



Pals like this you don't need, but then again, if you are reading this, chances are the tabloids don't much care about the drama in your life.



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

On the rocks alert: Stedman betrays Oprah!

Publication: Globe
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Now that her TV show is ending, it's up in the air how much the gossip rags will care about Oprah Winfrey. Still, with this story she climbs back into the list of the Top Ten celebrities in the gossip rags, with almost all the stories in the Enquirer, Globe and the low rent Examiner. Here are this week's headlines.

• As her empire collapses Oprah betrayed!
• Her fury as Stedman spends afternoon with hot blonde!

"Hot blonde" is pictured but not named, and she does look good.

I see another camping trip in Oprah and Gayle's future.

On the rocks alert: Oprah love triangle explodes!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 30 May 2011

This Saturday, it's all about royalty here at It's News 2 Them™, which means stories about the Queen of TV Oprah Winfrey and those people over in England, whose names slip my mind for the moment.

Oprah and Stedman and Gayle. The eternal triangle. Or is it eternal? According to the Enquirer, Gayle is none too happy about Stedman moving back into the mansion and has laid down the standard "It's him or me!" ultimatum.

Heavy lies the head that wears the crown.

On the rocks alert: Oprah throws a fit over Stedman's new gal pal.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 9 May 2011

Welcome back to gossip hell 2011, Stedman Graham! While there have been a steady stream of stories about Oprah this year, this is the first mentioning The Boyfriend, or is he the Ex-Boyfriend? According to the low rent Examiner, Stedman is seeing somebody else, and Miss Winfrey is none too pleased.

On the rocks alert:Oprah and Stedman faking it!

Publication: Star

Date: 20 December 2010

Once again, the AMI kennel goes with the story that Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham are just a sham and Oprah is "really with" Gayle King.

Hey, Oprah went on Barbara Walters and denied it, She even cried, for pity's sake! Still, you can't keep people's tongues from wagging about business that isn't their business, can you?

Comfy Shoes Alert™:Oprah's gay life exposed

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 8 November 2010

Once again, the low rent Examiner is re-cycling a story that already ran in that more prestigious Wicked Step Sister rag, the Enquirer. The proof of their gayness is a camping trip reported on two weeks ago by The Flagship, which commenter #1 Karen Zipdrive says is actually pretty good proof, and the only extra detail added is that Stedman can't stand Gayle.

On the Rocks Alert:Stedman's mom talks trash from the grave

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 6 September 2010

To honor Glenn Beck and his Restoring Honor rally on the Mall in Washington yesterday, this blog prints all the stories from the tabloids this week that say out loud what Mr. Beck and his hero Ms. Palin can only say in subtext tweeted in dog whistles.

We hate scary, uppity black people.

Stedman Graham's mom passed away on August 10, so this is the perfect time to quote her in the Enquirer. She allegedly talked some serious trash about all the main players in the Oprah Winfrey universe, including that Oprah and Gayle share a bed, the big lie about Oprah and Stedman being in love and what Stedman said about Oprah's weight gain.

Stedman talked about Oprah gaining weight? Oh, he didn't go there, did he? Oh, girlfriend, it is on like Donkey Kong!

(Note: This is post # 1,000 on the blog, which has only been published since the beginning of the year. Yay, milestones!)

On the Rocks Alert:Oprah pays Stedman $250,000,000 in hush money

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 24 May 2010

I am ashamed to consider how long it took me to realize this, but the National Examiner is a joke. They are the only supermarket rag with no website, and way too many of their stories are re-hashes of news from other tabloids or even from legitimate news sources. I'm guessing they have like one full time reporter, if that.

They are sorry broke-ass mofos.

This is the only new news story they have this week, and I have no idea if it's actually true. Oprah is paying Stedman Graham a quarter of a billion to go away and keep his yap shut.

If this is true, maybe Stedman could throw a couple dollars the paper's way. With just a little cash infusion, the Examiner could become a full-fledged farce, instead of the ghost of a sham of a farce they are today.

Love Bird Alert™:Oprah rushes back to Stedman

Publication: Globe
Date: 10 May 2010

The Globe, usually one of the nastiest of the checkout rags, tells us Oprah has decided to stick it out with her big strong man with the turkey neck and the fivehead. (That's a really big forehead. Stedman may even qualify as a sixhead.)

I guess that whole big gay lie thing is just one of those phases that people in their fifties go through.

On the rocks alert:Oprah and Stedman's life of lies

Publication: Star magazine

Date: 26 Apr. 2010

So, here I am, putting my OCD to good use and putting all the Oprah news together on the same day. I didn't put the two stories both in the morning or both at night, because I wanted each of them to have some time at the top of the page.

Star teases us about the life of lies shared by Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham. Isn't more fun when we know up front that these are BIG GAY LIES?!?

Of course it is.

Comfy Shoes Alert™:Oprah kicks Stedman out

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 19 Apr. 2010

One more sleazy story for a Big Gay Friday afternoon. Last month, the Globe said Stedman walked out because of Oprah's BIG GAY LIE! This month, the Flagship says she's kicked him to the curb because she's tired of living a BIG GAY LIE!

Let's be clear, shall we? Let's lose all this noise about the National Enquirer deserving to be in the running for a Pulitzer. These people MAKE SHIT UP! All the details about how well they vet their sources mean zero because the headline writers DON'T CARE AND MAKE SHIT UP!

Clear?

Comfy Shoes Alert™:Stedman walks out due to Oprah's BIG GAY LIE!

Publication: Globe

Date 29 Mar. 2010

We've heard this story before, haven't we? The Flagship ran with this back in January, but now it's Stedman walking out because of Oprah's cover-up, with no discussion of any BIG GAY LIE in his life.

On the Rocks Alert: Oprah and Stedman's BIG GAY LIE EXPOSED!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 8 Feb. 2010

Gosh, when was the last time you heard the name Stedman? Haven't he and Oprah been a "couple" for absolutely ever? When are those two lovebirds gonna get hitched?

Well, they aren't. Ever.

And this is according to The Flagship, so you know it's well sourced, if not entirely true.

They won't marry because their love is A BIG GAY LIE!

His life is A BIG GAY LIE!

Her life is A BIG GAY LIE!

BIG, BIG, BIG! GAY, GAY, GAY! LIE, LIE, LIE!

I'm using ALL CAPS because the Enquirer used ALL CAPS on their cover. ALL CAPS just screams CREDIBILITY!!!!

When asked for a comment, Stedman replied:

Sorry, I had to go with this joke. It was the low hanging fruit.