We gotta collpser! Vanna collapses!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

The low rent Examiner tells a lot about their presumed demographic by producing gossip about Vanna White, who is only of interest to people who watch a lot of TV. Allegedly, they have an "exclusive" story about her having a crisis after a shocking report she's being fired.

Annoying label bookkeeping #13

Link to the post below to include all the labels.

Man Slut Alert: Charlie Sheen's madam may name more names.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 14 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Even if you only pay scant attention to gossip, you had to know this week's most popular celebrity would be the self-destructing Charlie Sheen. All the other stories that mention him this week are actually about him, but the low rent Examiner uses his name to trash others with rumors. They speculate about Sheen's madam's little black book and what names might be in it. They include Brad Pitt, no stranger to malicious gossip about his love life, and Vanna White's husband, also not a surprise given the low rent Examiner's continued claims that she is addicted to "bad boys". The third name on the list is unusual and not previously mentioned in the supermarket rags in 2010 or 2011.

Welcome to gossip hell, Kevin Costner! It surprises me to see his name bandied about in such a sordid way because:

1. He's dull as dishwater, and
2. I didn't even know he counted as a movie star anymore.

I'm cruel, but fair.

Damn You Skinny Alert™:Vanna White wasting away!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 24 January 2011

It's a negative story about Vanna White! Any guesses which magazine is publishing it?

If you answered "the low rent Examiner", give yourself five bonus points. In the past year, they have had three stories about America's favorite letter turner, one that she didn't look good without makeup, one where she was addicted to bad boys and now one that says she is wasting away.

Once again, the low rent Examiner believes their demographic is old people addicted to daytime TV. They may be right. I'm sure they've done as much research as their measly budget can allow.

Spinster Alert:Lonely Vanna White is addicted to bad boys

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 19 July 2010

I am embarrassed to think that it took me over a half a year to come up with the label of the Spinster Alert. It was way too obvious on this story about Vanna White, but a lot of stories about attractive women in the tabloids are really warnings that they will spend their lives alone and childless. Technically, Vanna is not a spinster because she has two kids born in the 1990s from her marriage to George Santo Pietro, which ended in 2002. Still, she is now over 50 and looking for love, and so she gets our first official spinster alert label. I will go back and add this label to other stories from the first half of the year, because I suffer from what friend of the blog CDP calls mildly obsessive/somewhat compulsive disorder.

Time travel non-paradox:Vanna White is getting older

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 Mar. 2010

In a week when Roger Ebert allowed people to see what he looks like without a jaw, the National Examiner wants us to think that a picture of Vanna White wearing little to no make-up is a tragedy.

For the record, Ms. White turned 53 on Thursday, and anyone her age who looks that good without make-up is WAY ahead of the game.

We are all getting older. What a tragedy.