Rich people are rich: The richest teens.

Publication: People

Date: 22 August 2011

People has a story on the world's richest teens, with pictures of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez as junior fat cats instead of puppy love pals.

Bun in the oven alert™?: Justin and Selena pregnancy scare?!

Publication: Star
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! OK! put the rumor about Selena Gomez being pregnant on the cover two weeks ago, and now Star does the same, putting a "?!" at the end of the sentence to show there is significant doubt.

Vanity Fair put Young Master Bieber on the cover last month and the issue didn't sell well. We can only hope Justin's young fans only pay attention to the modern equivalents of Tiger Beat and not to grown-up gossip rags, else many of them are going to be grief stricken.

Bun in the oven alert™?: Selena & Justin pregnancy rumors

Publication: OK!
Date: 4 July 2011

OK! prints a story about the rumors that Selena Gomez' recent hospital visit might have been due to pregnancy. I have not seen the official denials online yet.

Love Bird Alert™:Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez on vacation.

Publications: People, Weekly Life & Style, Star
Date: 13 June 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Justin Bieber, the biggest star on the planet, and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were spotted on vacation this week and three different magazines went with the story. Here are the headlines.

• People: Justin & Selena: Young Love!
• Weekly Life & Style: Justin and Selena's sexy vacation
• Star: Justin and Selena HOT

If there is a spike in young female suicide attempts this week, this would be the most likely explanation.

Commenter #1 Karen Zipdrive sent me this picture and asked if it looked like Justin had a little... manly happiness in his swim trunks. It's hard to be definite given the angle of this picture and the cropping, but I know if I was in his situation, there would be some happiness in my swim trunks.

Just sayin'.

Love Bird Alert™: How Selena won Justin's heart.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 21 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Back in late December, Weekly Life & Style said Justin Bieber and DisneyTeen™ Selena Gomez were a couple. I haven't seen any statistics to see if there was a spike of teenage girl suicides that coincided with the news, but Ms. Gomez' representatives have said there were a number of death threats against her.

This week, Us Weekly confirms they are a couple and we can expect more adolescent girl angst to follow. I almost gave this a Meanest Story nomination, but the cruelty here is very indirect and subtle, so I decided to pass.

Love Bird Alert™:Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 10 January 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Teen scream Justin Bieber is currently on tour with DisneyTeen™ Selena Gomez, who as of yet has neither a criminal record or a stay in rehab. The publicists say they are "just friends", both in an attempt to maintain Bieber's massive popularity and to keep the teen suicide rates in check. But as the headline writers at Weekly Life & Style tell us, the photos prove it's love.