Missed deadline alert: Michael Douglas is still alive.

Last year, we got two separate expiration dates for Michael Douglas in the gossip rags. One said he would be dead by last January, obviously not true.  There was also a story in the Globe with the big headline NO HOPE FOR MICHAEL DOUGLAS with friends fearing that Thanksgiving 2010 would be his last.

We just had Thanksgiving 2011.  Hope you enjoyed yours as I enjoyed mine.  And special good wishes to Michael Douglas and his family, hoping he has several more to enjoy in the future.

From a fan.

Meanest Story nominee: Michael Douglas marked for death!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Michael Douglas is no stranger to the tabloids saying he's going to die. While he lived through one expiration date earlier this year, he has yet another one coming up at Thanksgiving.

This time it's not the cancer but the Mexican drug cartel, if you can believe it. The Enquirer says his ne'er-do-well son Cameron has ratted on the Mexicans and they are going to come after his family or that's at least what "insiders fear".

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee: Michael Douglas' NEW cancer shocker.

Publication: Star
Date: 1 August 2011

Michael Douglas' health problems were all over the tabloids late last year, but after several predictions of his imminent demise, one of which came with a deadline that has already passed with the star still alive, the story was pretty much dropped. Now, Star has a grainy telephoto picture of him smoking and these headlines.

• Smoking again and fighting for his life
• Catherine struggles as they run away from it all
  

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

You So Crazy Alert™: More on Catherine Zeta Jones' situation.

Publications: People, National Enquirer, In Touch
Date: 2 May 2011

Once the Enquirer broke the Catherine Zeta-Jones story in print, it was all over the Internet by last week with lots of outlets being much more sympathetic than the biggest of the Wicked Step Sisters. Now three magazines have cover stories and even the Flagship isn't being that mean. Here are the headlines.

• People: Catherine Zeta-Jones Battling Bipolar Disorder
  inside her private struggle
  While husband Michael Douglas fought cancer, the star faced a mental health crisis. "There is no shame in seeking help." she says.
• In Touch: Inside Catherine's private hell
• National Enquirer: How Michael saved Catherine.
  Mental ward drama!
  

Meanest Story nominee:Catherine Zeta-Jones in Psycho Ward!

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 25 April 2011

The Flagship has a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week, as usual, but this one has already been confirmed as true. Catherine Zeta-Jones, who is called "Michael Douglas' wife" in the headlines, has been checked in to a mental hospital due to a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder 2. The Enquirer says she has been put in a ward with drug addicts and alcoholics, but since she works in Hollywood, she should feel right at home. (Rimshot! Thank you very much! I'll be here all week! Try the veal!)

UPDATE: Not only has this story been confirmed, but a week later it gets on several covers, so I give the story a belated Scoop of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee: Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones' public meltdown.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 14 March 2011

Even the nasty dogs in the AMI kennel agree: killing off Michael Douglas is so 2010. Now, the AMI's Flagship publication, the National Enquirer, has decided it's easier to tell us his marriage is heading for an end.

The cover says they had a nasty fight and public meltdown on Feb. 25 and they have paparazzi pictures to prove it.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones:Living for the moment.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 24 January 2011

It was late August when Michael Douglas went on Letterman's show and told the world about his throat cancer diagnosis. Just after that, he was on the cover of People. In October, November and even into early December, the mangy curs in the AMI kennel were portraying all the news as bad on a regular basis. This is the first story of 2011 about Michael and his wife Catherine Zeta Jones, and they are still not giving up the idea that the end is nearer than the couple wants to admit. The sub-headlines are:

• Painful secrets behind the smiles
• Doctors deliver emotional news
• What the couple is hiding

As always, best wishes to Michael Douglas, his family and friends, from a fan.