Mary Tyler Moore cheats death!

Publication: Globe

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

More "Hey, Old Timer!" gossip from the Globe, one of the two supermarket rags that skews older and more morbid than the rest. (The other is the low rent Examiner, a fellow kennel mate at American Media, Inc., owner of the five meanest of the American gossip magazines.) The sub headline reads "secret hospital drama".  "Drama" is code for a story that isn't even remotely similar to the sensationalistic headlines and often false in the bargain.

 

Best wishes to Miss Moore, her family and friends, from a fan.

Hey Old Timer Gossip: Mary Tyler Moore new health drama!

Publication: Globe
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

The Globe once again tells us about the health problems of people who became famous back before I graduated high school, which is a very long time ago. They have a picture of Mary Tyler Moore with some unidentified swelling on her cheek and the caption "Photo shocker!" They do not use the words deadly or dying on the cover and they do not say she was hospitalized, so this is just another of the indignities of growing old in the public eye, more or less.

Best wishes to Miss Moore, from a fan.

Meanest Story nominee: Mary Tyler Moore's last hope!

Publication: Globe
Date: 30 May 2011

The Globe wants us to know that Mary Tyler Moore is in bad shape, whether it is true or not. Here are the sub-headlines.

• Secret behind her brain surgery ordeal
• What she's hiding from fans
  

They didn't say she was going to die in any direct way, but "last hope" and "brain surgery" in the same story's headlines can't be good. Best wishes to Ms. Moore, her family and friends, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Hey Old Timer Gossip: Dick Van Dyke had a crush on Mary Tyler Moore.

Publication: Globe
Date: 16 May 2011

The Globe says that Dick Van Dyke will be producing that most important of artifacts in the gossip world, the tell all book. In it, he admits he had a serious crush on his co-star Mary Tyler Moore.

Hey, buddy! Get in line! I mean, back then, who didn't?

Then again, he did play her husband for five seasons. I guess he should be at the front of the line.