Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Bill and Barack hate each other.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

The Globe prints more stories about Barack Hussein Hitler Obama than does the low rent Examiner, but the Examiner is fond of story that the Clintons and the Obamas do not get along. This time, instead of Michelle and Hillary, it's Bill and Barack who are at each others' throats.

Hillary's heart crisis.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 22 August 2011

Do you believe the low rent Examiner has inside information about the lives of people as protected as Bill and Hillary Clinton? Me, neither! But it's my job on this blog to publish all the headlines on the American supermarket rags, so here's what the low rent Examiner has to say this week.

Hillary has a heart crisis and has had terrifying blackouts this year. Bill has given an ultimatum.

If you believe the low rent Examiner.

Man Slut Alert: Bill Clinton caught with lingerie model.

Publication: Globe
Date: 20 June 2011

The Globe publishes a picture of Bill Clinton sitting next to a woman at what appears to be a conference and then a picture of her modeling lingerie, though it may not be a recent picture.

I guess if I had the choice of being portrayed as a walking corpse or a horn dog, I'd take the latter. Since his hospitalization early last year, there have been about twice as many stories about him being near death as there have been stories about him being near some honey who isn't his wife.

On the rocks alert: Clinton marriage crisis

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 13 June 2011

There was a time when the Clinton marriage was prime tabloid fodder, but those days are long gone. This is only the second report of a Bill and Hillary Clinton marriage crisis is about a year and a half, and both reports have been in the low rent Examiner. The story says has Hillary packed on 50 lbs. after Bill threatened divorce.

Stay classy, low rent Examiner.

Not Long 4 This World Alert: Bill Clinton dying!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 21 February 2011

I didn't put this story about Bill Clinton dying in the running for Meanest Story of the Week this time around because I already had a story about Chelsea's marriage falling apart which I thought was meaner. Also, as Padre Mickey pointed out, "XXX dying!" is a true story since we are all dying, but it's not really news we can use if it's published ten or twenty years before the fact.

The details in the cover story from the low rent Examiner are that he has heart disease and Parkinson's. The heart disease was confirmed when he was in hospital last year. The Parkinson's is a rumor started by the Globe about two years ago, a story which Clinton has denied, though some sites on the Internet claim it is true.

Best wishes to The Big Dog, his family and friends.