Weekly World News alert: O.J.'s hush-hush prison wedding!

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

The Sun didn't have a useful headline this week, but it was close. It said Nostradamus had predictions for 2012, but it gave nothing specific on the cover and I don't open these magazines up.

On the other hand, the Weekly World News did have a headline worth reporting, a story about O.J. Simpson's "hush-hush" wedding inside prison. The sub-headline reads "You'll never guess who the bride is!"

Again, I didn't open the magazine up, but factoring in that it's reported in the Weekly World News, my guess would be the bride is O.J.

Non scoop of the week! O.J. Simpson confesses the murders to Oprah!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 4 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The Enquirer says a "pal" of O.J.'s has reported that O.J. confessed to the murders from seventeen years ago when he talked recently to Oprah Winfrey.

It's complete horseshit. Oprah denies it up and down.

When you think that those murders happened seventeen years ago, do you feel a little old? Yeah, me too.

Damn You Fat Alert™: O.J. Simpson heart attack shocker

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 4 April 2011

According to The Flagship, O.J. Simpson is depressed in prison and packing on the pounds, up from 225 pounds when he went in to 275 pounds now. As often happens, the Enquirer will embellish a story like this with a phrase like "heart attack" or "dying". There is no evidence that the assumed double murderer and convicted thief has suffered a heart attack as of this writing.

He fought the Law alert:O.J. Simpson beaten unconscious

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 21 February 2011

This week, there are a lot of stories about crime, so this Sunday all the posts are about people who have actually been at least arrested and charged. According to The Flagship, O.J. Simpson has been beaten unconscious in jail. I can find no independent verification of a recent beating, but there were rumors to this effect at online gossip websites back in December 2009.

Simpson was sent to prison in Nevada in 2008 for armed robbery. The sentence is for at least nine and possibly thirty three years.

Creepiest story of the week:O.J.'s daughter forgives him for killing her mom

Publication: Globe
Date: 10 January 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! If we are to believe the Globe headlines, always a dicey proposition, O.J. Simpson's daughter Sydney, shown here in an old photo with her dad and her younger brother Justin, has forgiven the bastard for killing her mom.

Whether it's true or not, it wins the prize for Creepiest Story of the Week.