Bells Aren't Ringing Alert™:Liz getting married - PSYCH!

Publication: Globe

Date: 29 Apr. 2010

What's wrong with this business model? I think Liz Taylor and her handlers set this story up with precise timing to screw with the tabs. She had the announcement of her ninth marriage timed so they could pick up on it several days late, then timed the denial of the story so that anyone who took the bait would have egg on their face and waste valuable cover space.

The dull fish that took the bait was the Globe, the same rag that hired that slumming, need a job bee-yotch Debbie Reynolds, a lady Liz might still want to mess with just because she can.

Do I really think Liz and her people are this good at being devious and vindictive?

Yep. I kinda do.

Bells Aren't Ringing Alert™:No ninth marriage for Liz Taylor

Publication: Huffington Post (via Twitter)

Date: 12 Apr. 2010

Well, that didn't take long! Liz Taylor has sent a message out on her nearly dormant Twitter account to say that she deeply loves her manager Jason Winters and they are dear friends, but she has no intention of marrying him.

Until someone comes up with a better theory, and honestly I don't think there is a better theory, I think all this nonsense was just a way to get back at that desperate, low-rent bee-yotch Debbie Reynolds for going to work at the Globe.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™ with a side order of Hairdresser:Liz Taylor going down the aisle for the ninth time

Publication: Us Weekly online

Date: 9 Apr. 2010

Remember that story last month about Liz Taylor's Sad Last Days? Well, Liz wants to put an end to that, so she tells Us Weekly that she will be getting married for the ninth time to Jason Winters, nearly three decades her junior.

Take that, Globe! Take that, Debbie Reynolds, you slumming, need a job bee-yotch! Liz is still in the game!

The British tabloids imply there may be a Hairdresser Alert angle the American press is ignoring.

After slamming the Examiner for their "who's gay and who's not" nonsense, it would be consistent of me to tsk-tsk and poo-poo the Limey rumor mongers, but... their version of the story actually makes more sense, doesn't it?