Blown Fortune Alert™:Kate Gosselin's money mess

Publication: In Touch
Date: 13 December 2010

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last trash of the week... right now!

Compared to scripted TV, reality TV is cheap to make. This doesn't mean there isn't any money in it, as Sarah Palin can tell you. The most recent story of a reality TV star who could keep track of the pennies and dimes is Kate Gosselin. The sub-headline on the In Touch story is "how they blew millions", so I assume the story includes Jon, though as is standard this year, the picture is of Kate alone.

Blown Fortune Alert™:How Speidi went through $10 million

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 15 November 2010

Back in June, when I was young and naive, I thought the supermarket rags would continue telling us the story of the attention starved idiots Heidi Montag and her douchebag husband Spencer Pratt. I now realize that attention starved idiots who no longer have reality TV shows are of little interest to the gossip rags and their attempts to stay relevant are nearly hopeless.

They got divorced when they realized they would have to declare bankruptcy. Somehow, they burned through ten million dollars. I'm such a broke mofo, i have no idea how anyone could do that, though the old adage about fools and their money comes to mind.

Blown Fortune Alert™:Sarah Ferguson Royal Money Scandal

Publication: People
Date: 7 June 2010

It used to be that royal weddings could mean the difference between war and peace on the European continent. But now that the British monarchy is the only one that anybody takes seriously, it's just a very large money making scam primarily funded by the British taxpayers. Instead of war with Holland or Spain or France, the worst thing that can happen is a royal marries some bimbo and she can't keep her yap shut.

Sound like anyone we know?

Sarah Ferguson is on the Apology Tour after being caught on tape for asking for half a million pounds sterling from the British tabs for access to her ex-husband Prince Andrew.

People want access to Prince Andrew? I thought he was like the Spice Girls or Duran Duran, one of those British people we aren't required to waste brain cells remembering anymore.

In any case, the Apology Tour has two big stops in the United States, go on Oprah (she's done that) and to explain herself in People.

Mission accomplished.