What George W. Bush is hiding!

Publication: Globe
Date: 15 November 2010

Details from George W. Bush's memoir released this Tuesday are coming out, and the Globe calls it a tell-all book, because the gossip rags love "tell-all books". In fact, they then go forward to tell you stuff that will NOT be in the tell-all book, the lies the Three Wicked Step Sister rags have been peddling for years about George. The details on the cover are:

• Laura's divorce deal
• the truth about George and Condi
• his suicide drama

I figure all these stories are lies, but on the up side, the last one is a fresh lie not published before in 2010.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Michelle Obama trashes Laura Bush after book snub

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 5 July 2010

Usually, it's the Globe is telling us about trouble in the marriages of the Obamas or the Bushes, with about twice as many stories about the current White House residents as about the former. This week, it's the Examiner instead telling us that the two first ladies aren't getting along.

Who do you pick in this fight?

She looks mean.

She looks crazy.

Personally, I'm going to call in the professionals and stay as far away from the action as possible. Absolutely no sense in being a hero in a situation like this.

On the Rocks Alert:Laura wants a divorce... again!

Publication: Globe
Date: May 31 2010

It's been a while, but the Globe is back on the Bash Bush campaign. This is the fourth time we've seen this story in five months, three times in the Globe and once in that cheap-ass sponge paper the Examiner.

The extra scoop is she's sick of his boozing. No mention of him tomcatting around with anyone.

Honestly, I think she's too high on pills to care if he's drinking or not.

On the rocks alert:What Laura Bush is hiding

Publication: Globe

Date: 29 Mar. 2010

Bad news about the marriages of George W. and Laura or Barack and Michelle are usually in the Globe, though there has been one in the Examiner. This time, it's about the stuff that won't be in Laura Bush's book when it finally comes out.

The three vague statements on the cover are Bush's suicide fears, the "other" woman in quotation marks (probably Condi) and the bitter divorce duel.

They have been pushing this divorce story forever. Until it goes on the court docket, I remain skeptical.

On the Rocks Alert: George W. and Laura Bush separated

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 15 Feb. 2010

Having beat up on the Obamas for a while, the tabloids are back on the story that George W. and Laura are having their problems. The National Examiner goes so far as to say they have separated and George is begging her to take him back.

I wonder what it's like for them to go to a supermarket and see their dirty laundry aired for all the world to see?

Who am I kidding? Somebody does their shopping for them, and it's only a 50-50 chance that person has a green card.

On The Rocks Alert: George and Laura Bush

Publication: Globe
Date: 11 Jan. 2010

The Globe has been going with this story for years. While all the tabloids printed on newsprint are from the same parent organization, I think the Globe is the main perpetrator of stories about Bush marriage discord.

According to them, the two problems are

1) George is still drinking and Laura is sick of it, and
2) George is tomcatting around with Condoleezza Rice.

The reason this time is #2, and supposedly Laura found the love letters. Do either George or Condi strike you as the love letter type? Yeah, me neither.

I have no fond feelings for anyone involved in this story, but I still don't believe this crap for a minute. Then again, if the Bushes divorce, remember, you heard it in the Globe first.