Meanest story nominee: Kirk Douglas' Brave Last Days.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 15 August 2011

The low rent Examiner gives a Brave Last Days cover story to Kirk Douglas, one of the last great Hollywood stars from the 1940s and 1950s who is still with us. The story says he has trouble walking and talking, and anyone who saw this year's Oscars knows this is true and it has been for a while. He had a stroke in 1996, he's 94 years old, but he's still got a lot of piss and vinegar in him, bless him.

Best wishes to Kirk Douglas, his family and friends, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest Story nominee:Kirk Douglas collapses at Michael's bad news

Publication: Globe
Date: 8 November 2010

This week's Meanest Story contest is all about Brave Last Days alert. Technically, the Globe does not say Kirk Douglas is dying on the cover of their magazine, but they do say it on the front page of their website, so that counts.

Best wishes to Kirk Douglas, his friends and family, from a fan.

Kirk Douglas collapses!

Publication: Globe
Date: 10 May 2010

According to the Globe, Kirk Douglas's health has taken a turn for the worse because his grandson was sentenced to five years in prison.

I mock the Examiner and the Globe for what I call Hey Old Timer gossip, but at least they are talking about real stars who really did something to capture the public's imagination, even if it was several generations ago. So many of the other supermarket rags depend on reality TV stars to take up the space on their front covers, and those people haven't done anything.