Problems With Plastic Alert: JWoww's surgery confession.

Publication: In Touch

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



When it comes to Nielsen ratings, Jersey Shore is one of the big hits of reality TV. When it comes to interest from The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, it's not as popular as Mob Wives. Almost all the stories about Jersey Shore this year have involved JWoww, the taller brunette with the massive rack, who confesses to some plastic surgery.

Damn You Skinny alert: JWoww's transformation.

Publications: Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly

Date: 22 August 2011



Jersey Shore is one of the most popular reality shows ever, but The Only Ten Magazine That Matter barely notice its existence. Now that the fourth season is starting, two gossip rags take notice of bust JWoww's weight loss and relative natural deboobening.

• Weekly Life & Style: JWoww is unrecognizable
• Us Weekly: JWoww's hot body makeover
  
  
  
  It's interesting that Us makes it a positive story, while Life & Style includes it in a passel of negative stories.
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You So Crazy Alert™: JWoww tried to kill an ex-boyfriend.

Publication: Star
Date: 2 May 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, JWoww! The large breasted young woman who isn't Snooki on Jersey Shore has an ex-boyfriend ratting on her this week, showing pictures of a stab wound on his arm and claiming she tried to kill kim.

When I changed the rules of this blog at the beginning of the year and started reporting on all reality TV cover stories of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter, I thought I'd be overrun with Jersey Shore gossip. So far, this is the first story specifically about a cast member (Snooki got mentioned in a best and worst beach body smorgasbord, she was one of the worst) and we are four months into the new year.

I'd say this is good news, but the most popular reality TV show in the gossip rags is Teen Mom, which is much worse as far as I'm concerned.

Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™:Best and worst winter beach bodies YET AGAIN.

Publication: Star

Date: 3 January 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Last trash of the week...right now!



So now it has been established. Beach body season runs from January 1 to December 31 in the gossip rags. We could blame Sports Illustrated for this, since their famous swimsuit issue comes out like clockwork in the dead of winter in February every year. But that decision makes sense in terms of the sports calendar, to get an issue with good sales in that bleak season between the end of the Super Bowl and the beginning of March Madness.



The gossip rags have no such logical reason for all the beach body issues, other than the tried and true reason "Girls in bikinis sell magazinis."





Here is the list of the ladies they like.

• Kim Kardashian
• Jennifer Aniston
• Kendra Wilkinson
• Chelsea Clinton

One of these women is not like the others.





Here is the list of the ladies they don't like.

• Julia Roberts doesn't look great from behind
• Tara Reid is scary skinny
• Snooki from Jersey Shore can't afford to put an extra ounce on her tiny frame
• Margaret Cho has too much ink.