On the rocks alert: Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green fighting to save their marriage.

Publication: OK!
Date: 18 July 2011

Megan Fox doesn't have any movies coming out this year and in general the gossip rags have ignored her this year since her marriage, so it's a little odd she has two completely different stories about her this week. While Star says she's a botox abuser, OK! says her marriage which is barely a year old is already in crisis and she and hubby Brian Austin Green are fighting to save it.

Quick tip: If you are fighting, it likely isn't the best way to save it.

Late to the party alert:Megan Fox's wedding pictures

Publications: People, Star
Date: 19 July 2010

Let's recall the Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green got married without any warning from the Only Ten Magazines That Matter. In fact, last year the big tabloid news was their break-up. Still, after the fact, both People and Star have pictures from the wedding, presided over by a kahuna and a pretty big one at that, and stories to go along with them.

Let's compare and contrast, shall we?

People: Megan Fox wedding album
Star: Megan & Brian Honeymoon and Baby

One of these things is not like the others, and Megan gets put on the Bun In The Oven Alert™ list.

Bells Done Rung™ Alert:Megan Fox marries Brian Austin Green in Hawaii

Publication: Associated Press
Date: 29 June 2010

Yet another celebrity couple gets married away from the prying eyes of the tabloid press. Megan Fox, known for her hotness and not that much else, married her longtime boyfriend Brian Austin Green. You might remember him from Beverly Hills 90210 or you might not. It's okay either way.

Fox and Green join other "secret" marriages this year, including Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, Rush Limbaugh getting hitched for the fourth time and Vince Vaughn marrying Kyla Weber.

Math update: He's 36 and she's 24. By the Sophisticated French Rule, half his age plus seven is 25. They got engaged four years ago, when the age difference was even worse, so he is officially a cradle robber.

Even by Sophisticated French standards.