Weekly World News alert:J.F.K. alive and seen in Iran!

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 14 February 2011

For those who read this blog who do not understand the allure of the Weekly World News, they promise a more magical world. Bigfoot lives, aliens exist, dead celebrities are alive.

Bat Boy, for pity's sake. They invented Bat Boy.

But lately, instead of just throwing these now predictable curve balls, they have developed a slider and a screwball, maybe even a knuckle curve or a split finger. Recently, they had Charles Manson healing the sick. Usually, miracles are performed by the beloved dead, not the despised living. This week, John F. Kennedy is still alive, but for some unknown reason he is meeting with the hated Iranian leader Ahmedinijad.

This headline gets Weirdest Story of the Week.

Weirdest story of the week:Charles Manson heals the sick in prison

Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 17 January 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The Weekly World News has a report that Charles Manson is healing the sick in prison. This is not the first time the Weekly World News has claimed a miracle, but usually miracles are performed by dead and beloved celebrities, like Elvis, Princess Di or Michael Jackson, not living celebrities who are universally feared and despised.

If you are like me and actually remember when Charles Manson was in the news, he is now 76 years old and still in Corcoran State Prison. Does that make you feel a little old? Yeah, me too.

Weirdest story of the week:Hollywood "star whackers"

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 27 December 2010

David Carradine dies in a hotel room in Bangkok in June 2009. The police say it was auto-asphyxiation, probably a sex game gone wrong.

But could it have been... murder?

Hollywood publicist Ronni Chasen in gunned down in November 2010 after the premiere of the movie Burlesque, apparently the victim of a robbery.

How could the two events, separated by a year and a half and several thousand miles, be related?

Obviously, it was the work of Hollywood Star Whackers!

Hollywood Star Whackers is the strong belief of Randy and Evi Quaid, who believe they are "next" on the list of people who will be killed, to be added to other "murder victims" like Chris Penn and Heath Ledger, both of whom died from overdoses according to the official story. The couple has outlined their belief in the conspiracy to Esquire magazine, a complicated evil plan which includes a Dairy Queen in Texas and Radar Online, the Internet gossip site owned by AMI, the company that operates five of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter.

A good sign of how seriously this story is being taken is that the only paper to cover it is the low rent Examiner. But then again, if there was a conspiracy, wouldn't it make sense for the bad guys to print it in a newspaper with zero credibility?

Sorry, my bad. I should have never used the phrase "make sense" in any story involving Randy and Evi Quaid.

I have to lie down and rest now.