Showing posts with label Lisa Marie 2011. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lisa Marie 2011. Show all posts

You So Crazy Alert™: Lisa Marie Presley hits rock bottom!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 1 August 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The idea of this blog is to keep track of the narrative behind the seemingly random headlines in the supermarket rags. One strong theme has been the National Enquirer's hatred for Scientologists, most especially fat Scientologists. Tom Cruise they leave alone for the most part. (Other mags have it in for him.) Jenna Elfman is not a topic of conversation at all. But Lisa Marie Presley, Kirstie Alley and John Travolta... nothing but hate, hate, hate for them.

Except maybe this week. They do hate on Lisa Marie, saying she's hit rock bottom, but they also say her pal Travolta is rushing in to save her.

The Enquirer has done some serious dumping on Travolta. He's gay, he's cheating on his wife, he abandoned his family, he's fat, he's going bald, you name it. But at least they admit that he does try to do outreach to people he knows who are in trouble. There was also a story about him trying to help Jeff Conaway a week before Conaway died.

You So Crazy Alert™:Lisa Marie collapses!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 31 January 2011

Pick on Scientologists Day continues here at It's News 2 Them™, and this time it's The Flagship picking on Lisa Marie Presley, who they say collapsed recently. Here are the sub-headlines.
  • Loses shocking 55 lbs. in 5 months!
  • Husband rushes to save her as she falls to floor
  • Flies to L.A. for treatment
  • Health secret she's hiding
Okay, let me get a little mathy here. (Those who know me know I can't help it.) Five months is about 22 weeks, so that means she was losing two and a half pounds a week on average. That's not shocking, that's good steady progress. But by the rules of the AMI kennel, if a Scientologist does a thing, it is by definition shocking or bad. Gain weight, lose weight, FAIL to lose weight... bad, bad, bad!

Glad I could clear that up for anyone unclear on the concept.