Meanest story nominee: The low rent Examiner has another Sad Last Days collection.

 Publication: National Examiner

Date: 28 Nov. 2011

For the fourth time this year, the low rent Examiner goes on a hypothetical killing spree and tells us who is going to die soon.  As usual, their list has a lot of TV stars from the 1960s and 1970s and only one true Hollywood legend.

Welcome to gossip hell, Robert Conrad!

Welcome to gossip hell, Andy Williams! He announced his cancer on stage a few weeks back.  That must have been a fun night out for his fans.

Miss Lauren Bacall has been mentioned before, but this is her first time being slated for death.

Don't worry too much, Miss Bacall.  They aren't that good at predicting these things.

This is also Rose Marie's first time on a tabloid death watch list.

And then there's Penny Marshall, by far the youngest person on the list but the only one who has already been marked for death by the gossip rags.  If fact, she has an expiration date in the spring of next year.

If it's any consolation, they aren't particularly good at guessing the date people will die.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Hey Old Timer Gossip:Who is dead and who is alive?

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 10 January 2011

The low rent Examiner has pictures of five movie and TV stars whose careers started in the 1940s or 1950s and promise to tell their fans, who are getting along in years and might be a little forgetful, whether these shining stars of yesteryear are above the lawn or below it.

Hey old timer! You know that thing you are reading the words on? Your computer connected to the Internets? They've got this place called The Wikipedia, and if you go there and type in the name of somebody famous, they will tell you when that person was born AND when they died. If they haven't died yet, then there's just the birth date.

Pretty easy, huh? Let's try it ourselves.

• John Forsythe (pretty easy, he died earlier this year)
• Esther Williams (still alive)
• Lauren Bacall (still alive)
• Maureen O'Hara (still alive)
• James Arness (still alive)

See how easy? I knew you could do it.

You're welcome.