Love Bird Alert™: All The Bachelor stories thrown into a single lump.

Publications: OK!, Us Weekly, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 21 March 2011

I don't watch this miserable show and will do the absolute minimum of research when there's a cover story about it. There are three stories this week, and two include pictures of Bachelorettes without identifying them, like they are already super famous.

Screw that noise. They will be identified as the Blond and the Brunette. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: I'm ready to be a dad.
• Weekly Life & Style: A Baby for Brad (picture of Blond)
• Us Weekly: Bachelor Brad: Secrets of the proposal.
  What really happened on the final dates.
  Says Brad: "I just knew she was the one." (pictures of Blond and Brunette)

Eventually, like the mess in Wisconsin and the NFL labor dispute, this national nightmare will be over.