Not Long 4 This World Alert: Bill Clinton needs a heart transplant

Publication: Globe
Date: 1 Mar. 2010

The Globe, that completely reliable source that reported the Bushes and the Obamas are both close to divorce, tells us Bill Clinton is close to death. The stents he had inserted are not enough and he needs a heart transplant.

This is also the tabloid that told us this week Portia De Rossi has a deadly disease, but didn't think we'd know her name, so instead called her "Ellen's wife".