Hey Old Timer Gossip: The Examiner calls two beloved stars sluts.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 9 May 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The low rent Examiner has two stars from way back in the day on their cover this week, letting both the Old Timers and the young people know that odd and/or trashy behavior was neither invented nor perfected by Paris Hilton or Britney Spears.

Here is the trash they talk about Shirley MacLaine. She bedded three world leaders and has seen UFOs over her home.

Here's the dirt on Barbara Eden. They tell how she dumped Elvis, Desi Arnaz and Tom Jones. They also say she was kicked by an ex-husband.

Stay classy, low rent Examiner!

Problems With Plastic Alert™:Plastic surgery shockers in the Enquirer

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 19 July 2010

The Flagship has a bunch of pictures of celebrities on their cover this week and all of them look like death eating a cracker. There's one "Guess Who?" picture with the caption making it harder to see who it is, but I don't go for that. Here's the list of the people they identify.

Nicole Kidman: It's almost required by law now that if you are going to do a story about bad plastic surgery that you include Nicole Kidman. She's only 43, which means she's between the ages of Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox, who both look really good and mostly natural, but her face looks stretched tight the way much older women look after bad work.

Janet Jackson: She's always had a very wide smile, but wearing very little make-up in the picture on the cover, she's starting to look like The Joker.

Barbara Eden and Tina Louise: These were two of the prettiest women in Hollywood back in the 1960s, but they are both in their mid-seventies now and not willing to admit it. Eden looks stretched and Louise looks hacked. Very sad.

Christopher Walken: Walken is 67 and he looks it. His skin is saggy, but that's what happens when you get older. The Flagship found a very unflattering picture of him. I've been online and seen recent pictures where he looks better than he does on the cover.

Octomom: Her picture is part of this story, so I mention her. She doesn't get a label. The other people actually did something entertaining to become celebrities, so in my book, she doesn't belong.