Damn You Fat and Skinny Alerts™:Good and bad beach bodies, but mostly bad


Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 8 Mar. 2010

Showing celebrities in swimwear and then mocking or praising them is very common on the covers of celebrity magazines. The Flagship says on the cover it will show the best and worst beach bodies, but they only give praise to one celebrity in a swimsuit on the cover and slag all the rest. There was one bad "Guess Who?" with the face covered up, so I opened the magazine to find out who and it was some reality TV person I've never heard of. So here's the line-up on the cover, minus the "Guess Who?"

Tori Spelling, 36: Damn You Skinny. Lots of skeleton showing.
Mrs. Pierce Brosnan, Keely Shaye Smith, 46: Damn You Fat. She's a big girl.
Mariska Hargitay, 46: Damn You Fat. Leaning forward in a two piece, there's some roll around her tummy.
Fran Drescher, 52: Damn You Fat. Cellulite on thighs.
Katie Couric 53: Damn You Skinny. She's the only one who gets high marks of the people on the cover, and she has the sense to wear a one piece black swimsuit, which can hide a lot of flaws. If she wore a two piece, they might have easily snapped an unflattering picture of her as well.

This is one of those stories that makes me a little queasy to write this blog.